Life — November 2, 1928 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ALONG TH Dear Pac Witarp: The successful short- Walter story writers, you may have Winchell observed, have been clicking with romantic tales whic! ack all the trimmings that go with mad jove and adventure. I cannot afford to give you a birthday gift this year because my “heart” has gone clothes-crazy all of a sudden, so please accept this true story in- : stead. Juggle around with it awhile and ma t be you can peddle it to one of those aggravating magazine editors, and get famous. At any rate, it is all on the up-and-up and concerns widely known people, and inasmuch as you can- not use their tags, I'll omit them, too. The lady is beautiful and her jewels are costly and plentiful. None of us around Broadway ever learned from whence the precious stones came until I by happened into the yarn the other night. There was a wild guess that the gal was rewarded with the crown jewels of de- posed monarchs for her aid to various Intelligence Departments during the Big Tiff, but that theory blew up like a loose skirt over a subway grating. It appears that the lady was once greatly admired by the president of a tiny South American country, who showered her with the jools. Several years ago his government was toppled by a rebel leader, but he escaped in time, salvaging some of his countless millions and most of his valuables. Today he resides in one of the mid-town New York hotels, unsung, un- honored and unwept by the local news- papers which probably do not know that he is in the city. The woman, devoted to him (he is very old now), vowed to avenge things some day with the man who knocked him off his throne. This year she voyaged to Yur- rop on one of the better liners and dis- covered that a passenger on the same ship was the son of the man who wrecked her friend's career down there in South America, She decided to vamp the kid and succeeded right off the bat, arrang. ing an introduction and going about it in the high-class manner. But the boy fell in love with her! Madly in love, Willard, and she Got That Way over him, also. Irony, I know, but facts, old pal, and she wold him of her plans to wrong him, and so forth, but Re didn’t care. When she returned to America after doing the Rivicra he was on the same steamer and they re. sumed their Garbo Gilberting. He has notified his rebel Pappy, who has giv. en his blessings, and when you see her in the various cafés along the Stem she is buried under another mess of rubics, dia- monds, and poils—all from the treasury of the same country that yielded the previous collection. It’s positively irritat. ing, but there, as Oscar Wilde is alleged to have once wittily chirped, you are. O. O. McIntyre blew into town again the other eve and somebody must have shown him the letter I sent you about him several weeks ago. He has gone high-hat —sartorially, I mean, and his dress attire is Prince of Wales-ish. He certainly looks much younger than some of the musical comedy juveniles although he is forty. four and has to Put Up With New Yorkers. Heheheh. I saw him at the open- ing of George M. Cohan’s new show, “Billie,” and I wondered what his thoughts were when the whole company dointed at him and shouted a song called: “There's Nothing the Matter with New York—There’s Something the Maotr with YOU!!!" I thought I'd die! So goodbye. I have to hasten to Some- one Who—Has Eyes of Blue—Dum- deed'Il-um-dum-doo-doo-doo Becatse She's My Weakness Now! ELIGIBILITY Tue Wise Proressor was correcting exam ination papers. He came to one that had “William Jones, English 4” in the upper left-hand corner and just below, “I'm the Captain of the Football Team.” The rest of the paper was blank. The Wise Pro fessor marked it A-plus and went on with his work. THE ENGAGEMENT’S OFF Jack (over phone): And please my ring back to me. Jacovetine: You'd better come and get 1 oy, 1 ee eee a “Remember, Henrietta. No more oysters until next May.” it; glass breaks so easily in the mail. VOTE FOR ROGERS VOTE FOR SMITH VOTE FOR HOOVER gut — VOTE! comicbooks.com