Life — November 2, 1928 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Now, don't stay up there too long, Willie. The dinner’s getting cold!” tion of Prohibition right OUT of politics.” And the Yaps will say, “Did you see what Candidate so and so said he would do, he is the man I am for.” Now the year 2028 is just 100 years from now, so maby I was wrong when I said my platform was 100 years ahead of its time, I guess it’s a thousand years ahead, But it’s been great to have been in the race and be the only one that did not get mixed up in any of the scandals of it. If the election went to the one who con- ducted their campaign on the highest plane, the Anti-Bunk would win in a walk, Our party has placed Dignity above Showmanship, so the majority of people don’t even know I'm running. My religion, foreign travel, or style of hat has never even been referred too. No attempt has been made to cash in on any Sex Appeal I may unconsciously possess. So I may be defeated on next Tuesday, but if I am I can retire as a Gentleman and NOT a politician. VOTE FOR ROGERS VOTE FOR smiTi VOTE FOR HOOVER TE! suT — Final Anti-Bunk Bulletin ! i Our party, the Anti-Bunk, and Our Candidate, the honorable Will Rogers, have had to fight against terrific and over- whelming ccdts all through this campaign. The entire political world has been lined up solidly against us. If it had been a three-cornered fight, between the Republicans, the Democrats and the Anti-Bunks, we could have held our own easily against each of the other contenders. But the Republicans and Democrats have combined to suppress us, and to pfevent our great message from reaching the voters. They have realized that Bunk is the supreme commodity in which both of their parties must deal, and that if we were to eliminate Bunk, we should deprive them of the sole excuse for their existence. Furthermore, our enemies have re- ceived secret support from all political parties in all foreign countries, including Russia. Europe has been watching this campaign closely, and the politicians over there view with alarm the Anti-Bunk ac- tivities in the U. S. They don’t want the idea to spread to their countries. So we have had to face one conspiracy after another. Our Candidate’s name has been kept off the ballot. Our radio rallies have been victimized by static, manufac- tured in a certain little house in Wash- ington, D, C. And the other day, when a group of our supporters surreptitiously stretched a “Rogers-for-President”” banner across the main-street of East Milton, Mass., the conservative authorities in that town lost no time in calling out the militia and having it torn down. Nevertheless—and in spite of all this awful opposition—we still control the GREAT SILENT VOTE, which is be. yond the reach of our enemies. That same GREAT SILENT VOTE is going to sweep the country on Electiog Day, and give our people a President who can be funny intentionally, Att those silent and modest voters who can conscientiously support the Anti-Buak party deserve to possess at least one Rogers Campaign Button, as a souvenir of the Noblest Experiment in the History of American Politics. If you want one of these, and feel that you deserve it, write at once to Rogers Campaign Head. quarters, 598 Madison Avenue, New York. As this issue appears, Election Day is only four days off. So if you want to help us to beat Bunk, you'd better hurry, Ij we fail to accocuplish our purpose nex Tuesday, we'll have to wait until 1932~ and four years is a long, long time, as the Governor of North Carolina so wisely remarked. : Lire. No Results Whatever in Our Own Straw Vote In summarizing the resus of our straw vote (really your straw vote, too, for what's ours is yours and we don’t ever want you to fa- get that, dear) we must bear two things in mind: (1) that Hoover is the Repub lican candidate and Smith the Demo cratic, and (2) that red photographs by Robert Benchley “Here's mud in your eye, old man!” comicbooks.com <= ann eenwmoeod