Life — October 26, 1928 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Coach’s Prayer ‘Au, mercy upon me! Oh, horrors! Oh, woe! Twothirds of my gridders have just gone on pro. For French thirty-seven And English eleven Contain several facts that they don’t seem to know. Though two of my halfbacks can punt sixty yards They're wholly at sea on the Cavalier "bards. My tackles are whacking, But utterly lacking In knowledge of Robespierre’s various pards. Oh, bitter misfortune! Alack and alas! I've three heavy guards at the foot of their class! O powers above me, Pretend that you love me, And give me some men who can kick, run, and pass! Parke Cummings. What If People Wore Boutonniéres of the Flowers of the Truth-telling Plant? “By Jove, sir, I don’t see how you go right to the heart of a problem the way you do! The way you sweep aside all the nonessentials is—sniff-sniff—one of the funniest things I ever saw; you certainly are the world’s premier stuffed shirt, you old fake!” “Darling, you want to thank your stars that you don’t have to work late in an offce! It's a dog's life; I'm all in, and I'm —sniff-sniff—scared to death for fear some of that perfume came off on my coat!” “You know, Doris, I think friendships between men and women are mighty fine things, just being regular pals and all that, and—sniff-sniff—if you're not-that-kind- of.a-girl for God's sake say so and don’t make me waste the whole evening!” “Why don’t you look where you're going, you big bum; think you own the sidewalk? For two cents I'd hand you one—sniff-sniff—and if you start any- thing I'm going to yell bloody murder for that cop over there on the corner!” “TL never saw anything so brazen in all my life, Mrs. Spittalfield! If I'd acted the way she did with that man, I'd never hold up my head again—sniff-sniff—I wish some masterful brute would carry me off or something; J never have any fun!" “Brethren, I warn you solemnly that a vote for Smith is a vote for debauchery and intrigue—sniff-sniff—and I do hope o gosh this gets me into the papers the way it did Brother Straton!” H. F. UFE: Publicbed We by Life Publishing C: ew Yk Pot Oe ter ae St Mares 3187 ay 508 Madison Ave, New York, N.Y. Eat'd as 2od Class rinted ia U.S. A. (ay) THIS WINTER- Refresh your body and mind under Southern California's healing semi-tropic sunshine! From nearchy Palos Verdes bills strates on endless panorama of cass, messtains ond cities VERY good reason your physician, business E associates and friends can find to draft you for a Southern California vacation this winter will be answered one hundred per cent by better health and a fresher mind when you return home next spring! Persuade yourself to come to this land where winter is only a name—where flowers bloom gorgeously, birds sing and oranges ripen beneath snow-capped peaks. All will prove new out here in picturesque loveli- ness—palms everywhere, radiant gardens, poin- settias, red-berried pepper trees. Wide boulevards lead along the placid blue Pacific to the Old Spanish Missions and every other interest spot. Sixty-five ever-green golf courses are within casy distance. A few hours south and you'll be at San Diego; then, it’s but a brief motor trip to Tia Juana! Southern California, because of its mild climate, is flying headquarters! And, the winter desert! Here may prove your greatest thrill. Drive through Owens Valley in summer-like sunshine and see a blizzard batter itself against bleak Me. Whitney (14,501 ft.), king among the astounding Sierra peaks! Over a safe road lies Death Valley with its oases of rare comfort. Palm Springs, a spot of joy in the midst of a mysterious desert waste, is an easy and fascinating motor trip. Metropolis of the Pacific Coast, Los Angeles, offers all the thrills of a great modern city—the Subscripting, $5.00. Vol. 92, No. 2399, tar gh ihs Post Ofte Dept, Cosa Possessions. finest hotels, theaters, cafes. Los Angeles County is among the richest in natural resources, with agricultural products approximating $95,000,000 and oil fields valued at a billion dollars! Out here this winter you'll have the greatest vacation of your life! As you finish reading this invitation, mail the coupon for ‘Southern California Through the Camera," a new and authentic photographic book that pictures the Southern California you will see winter and summer. It should be in every home library. Here's the coupon. Mail it now! Southern California All-Year Club of Sentbere Califersis, Dept, 10-2, Chamber of Commerce Bldg, Les 4, Calif, Please seod tae your free booklet “Southera California Through the Camera.’ Also booklets telling especially of the attractions aod opportunities ia the cowaties which I have checked, } Los Angeles 1 Orange [Riverside (5 Los Acgeles Sports Santa Barbara 6 Vestura (San Bereardioo — [) San Diego Name Street City Seate ), Oct. 28, 1928. Ent'd as Ind Class Matter, Juve 8, 1883. at Copyright 1928, Life Pub. Co., in U.S, Engisad azd British comicbooks.com