Life — October 12, 1928 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“As soon as he saw I was all friendness, he began to take interest in breathin’ again.” SKIPPY’S By Percy Dear Sooxy: I felt mosey mosey all day, walked along the avenue an it seemed like I was in a draft—it made me feel sorta naked without you an Carol beside me. I was makin for the library to kill a couple o’ hours when who should [ meet but Barrelhead Boynton. We squatted un- der the War Memorial an Barrelhead’s mouth begun to go like a fish tryin to eat himself out of a bowl, he did nothin but bup! bup! bup! bup! Pretty soon me cars begin to twitch when I heard sorme- thin about the army. I says, “Why go roun coaxin sparrows? Our army don't parade in bed sheets.” He says, ‘Who's talkin about our army? I'm speakin about the Arabian army.” I felt like a broken cork in the ocean. Of course I nodded my head, but at the same time I gritted me teeth to keep from gettin red in the face. I never felt so ignorant. When he told me Arabia had millions o' square miles, I began to sniff govern- ment. He says, “How many people has Arabia got?” “Arabia? Now let me think,” T says. Then he began to prattle in cowtrillions. You'd think he was addin up the phone book. I wanted to argue only my tongue got glued to my teeth. “Did I ever tell ya how Ammonia was made?” he says, an then I begin to see the trees go whizzin on a merry-go-roun. LETTERS L. Crosby I was just goin to speak an he says, “An adult is a person of full age—twenty-one years—men an women both!” Ya couldn't shut the guy up. He chewed the fat about the Alps an when he taped them off he starts juicin about ants. Well, anyway we got to discussin Ar- menia, from there we go back to the Arabian army. “What about the Arabian navy?” I peeped at him. He looks at me like he was frozen. “How's Benzine made?” I asked. He began to act like a queen bee when the honey begins to curdle. He starts lookin for four leaf clovers an I crawl aside of him. “How many people in England? Scotland? Russia? Den- mark I buzzed. “Or even Hartford, Connecticut?” I followed him up with lefts an rights until I had him gaggin over the ropes. When I see he was saggin away I felt sorry. “How is it ya Know everything that nobody ever heard about,” I says, “an ya don’t know things that little children have to rattle off to get in kin- dergarden?” As soon as he saw I was all friend- ness, he began to take interest in breathin again. “rp tell ya!” an he pulled grass up by the roots. “A man came to the house, sellin books. He says all I had to do was give him fifty cents an sign a card an I would own a set of Icicle peedyas. I only got one book and every- thing in it begun with ‘A’.” He's goin to get twenty-five more books cause the law says so, it serves him right for tamperin with the government. I told him it'll be years before he'll ever suck a soda straw again. He said every once in a while the book showed elegant pictures, but I could see by the way he talked that his heart wasn’t in it. I just this minute put on my long un. derwear. Christmas won't be long now. Affectionately sincere, “Gosu! It’s cold out here!” “Yeah! they ain't got no consideration for anybody's feelings!” “And you get jounced around ter- ribly!” “That's all right—I'll put my arm around you—you won't mind the jounc- ing so much then.” “You will not—what will _ people think? Anyways, it’s too conspicuous out here.” “We'll be out in the country pretty soon—c'mon, sit a little closer.” “Gee, I'll hafta, if 1 want any comfort at all—don’t you think these seats are awfully cramping, sort of?” “Yeah—they don’t give you much room to move around in.” “T think they're positively murderous! ..+-Do you mind if I lean against you?” “Not at all—here—I'll put my arm around you—like that—see?” “Well—all right—but I don’t see why anybody would buy a filthy little car like this, do you? Ooh! I swallowed a mouth- ful of dust!” “Gosh—that’s too bad. But I won't let that happen again. I'll just keep my face down close in front of yours, honey, so the dust can't get at you.” “You're awtully thoughtful... ..” (Voice from front seat.) “Yoo-hoo, Alys—how’re you two enjoying the ride?” “Oh, lovely, darling!....Now turn around and give us a_ little privacy, please!” > DLC. TANTALUS TO DATE First Bootteccer: Let's throw a litte party tonight. Stconp Bootteccer: All right; do you know where we can get some gi liquor? comicbooks.com