Life — September 6, 1928 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— mascara, put on the weep act, got coy, and hung her head as though she really was sorry. If that stuff fails to win the jury, Helen probably will go into her baby tlk routine. At any rate, the boys and irls who are in trouble are counting on those who made whoopee at their dives to help them, but they don’t operate that way in this man’s town, Willard. You remember Earl Carroll. Well, Car- toll was the lad who once believed that his friends were as white as the Broad- way lights (which happen to be yellow), i alter all of his influential friends failed him, it remained for an actor to win him a pardon from President Coolidge. The actor was Al Jolson, the only ham Lever heard of who didn’t try to cash in with publicity for his kind deeds. The lowdown is that Jolson is liked by the Republicans because he Ied an army of G. O. P. players down to Washington when Harding was running for office. The mammy warbler swung plenty of sotes for the party, also, and did as much for Calvin. So when he went to the President and leaded tor Carroll after the Earl had a given a double-cross to bear, the jardon was granted and everybody won- dered how it was accomplished. You see, Willard, Carroll counted among his do- ordie pals numerous statesmen, city of- fcials and millionaires, but he learned he was as friendless as a guy who is broke on Broadway—and looked it. Among other amusing placards con- spicuously displayed in some of the speak- easies are these: “Don’t drink water—it gives you colic!” and “Not responsible tor hats, coats or kidneys.” Wilson Miz- ner, whose wit will probably be repeated long after he is dead, says that the Para- mount Theater reminds him of a man with a mouthful of gold teeth, and an allsgedly new Scotch quip concerns the Sot who told his baker to wrap up five cents’ worth of rolls in today’s newspaper. T have gone plumb mad over Colum- b's record of Clara Smith warbling, “Jelly, Look What You Done Done,” and the same firm's recording of Whiteman’s crew toying around with the waltzes, “My Hero” and “The Merry Widow.” Swell stuff, believe you me. The Chiteau- Madrid, which is an open-roofed place on 5gth Street, has en- teed the crowd that used to frequent what is now known as the Chez Helen Morgue. Harold ard directs his szzling crew with Nicut Crus Hostess: I’m worried about that man who just went out. I think he’s a Government Prohibition agent. “Not a chance in the world. He only bought beer.” his fiddle at the Madrid, which really is the only Broadway place to go to and do things. Guinan’s is pretty much the same— the only difference in her madhouse is that the customers have the privilege of throw- ing clackers and paper balls back at her. By the way, when the cork pops too easily it isn’t good champagne. The news vendor at 42nd Street and Broadway is Kid Herman, once a lightweight con- tender. Various business offices are featur- ing this framed motto: “Don't go around here acting like a prima donna. Remem- ber we knew you when!” Ben Lyon, the moom picture actor, recites it: “Thirty days hath September, April, June and a week-end in Hollywood.” To go “wolf- ing” is to flirt with the other fellow’s girl. When you describe a bore you say: “He's like something in your eye,” and wild apartment parties are now known as “rodeos” because that’s really where you make whoopee. Walter Winchell. EXAMS AND TRYOUTS “T near that Blah University has raised its entrance requirements.” “Yes, to eighteen units or the equiva- lent.” “What do you mean by ‘the equiva- lent’?” “Drop-kicking forty yards or passing fifty.” comicbooks.com