Life — August 16, 1928 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Foolis Farrar: I'm worried about your sister. Her voice is really quite charming, but somehow it never seems to blend well with piano accompaniments Tommy: Why not try the bagpipes? —Evenysoor’s Weexty (Loxooy). WORTH THE MONE’ As mt old lady strolled through the park, two urchins con fronted her. “I say, lady,”" said the taller of the two, “my brother does fine imitashings. Give ‘im a penny and he'll imi- tate a hen," “Dear, dear!'* smiled the old lady. ‘*And what will he do— will he cackle?"* “No,"’ replied the lad, with a look of con tempt, ‘ ‘e won't do no cheap imitashings 0° that sort. "E’ll cat a worm!"'—Tit-Bits (London). LET JOYCE BE UNCONFINED Tue isinutaste Miss Peggy Joyce boasts that she can change her dress every half-hour for five days without repeating. Peggy is thinking, no doubt, of wedding gowns. —Memphis Commercial Appeal. “The police think the contents were in code, for all it contained was praise for Mrs. Vandervoot’s husband."—New York Times. Is that nice?—New York Evening Post. “*Kisses | Spread — Pyorrhea."*—Headline. Four out of five won't believe a word of that. —Indianapolis News. L FE “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” TAKING NO CHANCES (“Levine Crashes Again, Smashing Columbia as He Lands.""—Heedline.) Banc in the children, Mary, And say for them a prayer; The danger great is, very— Levine is in the air. In cellar quickly hide, dear; By girders it is spanned; And do not come outside, dear, Unul you HEAR him land. —H. |. Phillips, in New York Sun. EXCESS FOOTAGE Coxversation overheard in a movie studio the day after a preview: “What's the verdict on the picture?" “Well, the producers don’t know whether to shelve it or release it as an epic.” —Photoplay. OR VICE VERSA Aviator Witxixs says that Spitzbergen, in future, will be the half-way house between Chicago and China. In present circumstances it is difficult for us to imagine anyone wanting to go from Chi- cago to China.—Buenos Aires Standard. Bossy (endeavoring to bury sleeping uncle): Uncle's so fat, this dry sand keeps rolling off. Let's pour some water on him first to make it stick —Hewtorist (Loxow). Tue Moveex rule in interior decorating seems to be, never start anything you cannot re- finish.—S¢. Louis Post-Dispatch, SS Contemporaries WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS, WATSON? Puzzuine epitaph from a local killing story: “He did not drink or smoke, and I can't us derstand why anyone would want to kill him,” —Chicago Evening Por, Return of the natural history proyessor who hes been studying frogs in the counry —Sonvacsnisse-Steix (Stockiiots). FATHER AND THE HOGS, SPANISH STYLE A coop instance of the way jokes go round te world was given by an author who is learning Spanish. Those who know the Two Black Crows records will recall this Iberian variant. Questios “Where is your honorable father?’ Answer “My honorable father is on the farm, and you will recognize him in the pigsty quite easily b his honorable caballero’s hat.""—London HOPELESS Ataosr the lowest thing in the line of compl ments was a remark overheard this morning ina bus argument: “You're still wrong, again.” —Detroit News Hearo twenty-five years hence: “She's a fine girl and she flies beautifully.” —Florida Times-Union. The Road Repairer Mends a Crack in the Floor. —Dustin Opinion. comicbooks.com