Life — August 16, 1928 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

. 4 dollar. So it doesn’t look any too good for us. But that can’t stop us from getting to- gether in a Debate, There is just a lot of little things we can debate on. I wrote Hoover and challenged him, But he wanted to make it over the radio. Now, that’s no way to debate, there is too many people listening in that have no vote, so what's the use trying to convince them? A Debate over a radio would be just about like a game of chess by telegraph. Hoover wants to get on the radio where they can’t see him, But with you it’s different, You want the gang to see you, You want to make your appeal to the common people. Well you can’t make any commoner appeal than I can, The poor people are my people till election, too. So come on, be a good fellow Al, and name the time, place and subject (if any). Let’s hold it in New York City where they can understand both of us, We'll hold it at midnight and draw a big crowd be- cause all the visitors to New York don’t know what to do with their spare time now that Mrs. Mabel Jimmie Walker Willebrandt has closed up all the clubs. (What a break that was for you, ch, Al?) So I am just practicing till I hear from you, and I hope it will be soon because we've got to do something to get Tex Rickard out of the Red by Christmas. Don’t go and pick some Tunney or Heeney that won't even draw enough to pay the referce’s expenses. You and I can pack 'em in—even in Tom Heflin’s neighborhood. So long Al, and good luck to you till we meet in debate. Yours, Witt. Candidate of the Anti-Bunk Party, with- out campaign buttons or cigars, Anti-Bunk Bulletin Every time a ward leader from Chicago gains access to Mr. Hoover or Mr. Smith, he announces, with a flourish, ‘Mr. Hoover (or Mr. Smith), I have the honor to inform you that the state of Illinois is ours,” and the next day all the Repub- ican (or Democratic) newspapers head- line, “Hoover (or Smith) Carries Illinois.” “I sho’ would 'preciate you answerin’ ‘at love-letter fer me, Ma'am.” “What shall I say, Trudy?” “Oh, you knows what t’ say—only jest ‘specially | wants t’ use the word ‘however.’” Well, we can play that harmless game, too, We have communicated with one of our personal friends in every state in the union, and cach has told us (in response to a leading question) that his state is absolutely in the bag for Will Rogers. So we now have the electoral votes from Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware—but why should we be telling you what the forty-eight states are? Go and look them up yourself, Our candidate is also going over big in the Virgin Islands. Remember—we want voters, but they must be amateurs. While the Republicans and Democrats are planning to squander upwards of ten million dollars for the sake of advertising two men who get too much publicity anyway, we're runnin; our campaign for love. In fact, when al the votes are in, we hope to be able to declare a profit. If you want to join this great move- ment to eliminate Bunk, write to Rogers Campaign Headquarters, 598 Madison Avenue, New York. It’s a Crime! (During the ride) “On, look at those pretty flowers! I won- der what they are. John, climb over the fence and pick some for me to take home.” eee “Just look at all those apples; I’m sure the farmer would never miss a few. John, go over the wall and shake some down. It’s fortunate I brought a sack with me.’ eee “Why, there’s an abandoned farm! Surely there must be something of value in that old-fashioned house. John, open the gate and drive in and we'll see what we can find.” (After the ride) “T can’t find our evening paper any- where. I'll bet some mean thief stole it right off our own doorstep. John, report it to the police immediately.” Bill Sykes. THE DAREDEVIL “Goop morning, Mr. Mussolini. Now I have a plan to get some great publicity for your country by a balloon trip to the North Pole....” Tue vseo car is not what it’s jacked up to be. comicbooks.com