Life — August 9, 1928 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Where the Bell System’s profit goes An Advertisement of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company Tuere is in effect but one profit paid by the Bell Tele- phone System, This profit is not large, for it is the policy of the Bell System to furnish a con- stantly improving telephone service at the least cost to the public. The treasury of the American Tele- phone and Telegraph Company re- ceives dividends from the stock of the operating companies. It receives a payment from the operating com- panies for research, engineering and staff work. It receives dividends from the Western Electric Company— makers of supplies for the Bell Sys- tem—and income from long distance operations. Rent a small car +++ $50.00.a week up... see twice as much, ‘ : PARTOUT TOURING inc. AUTO SERVICE ABROAD. 553 FIFTRM AVE. NEW YORK Cit¥ Only one profit is taken from this money in the Amer- ican Telephoneand Telegraph Company’s treasury. That is the regular dividend to its stock- holders—now more than 420,000 in number—which it has never missed paying since its incorporation in 1885. Money beyond regular dividend requirements and a surplus for financial stability is used to give more and better telephone service to the public. This is fundamental in the policy of the company. The Bell System accepts its respon- sibility to provide a nation-wide tele-. phone service as a public trust. REVENGE IS SWEET Two strong, handsome Slay girls who work as domestics in North Side homes were comparing notes. “Missus is fine, but Mister is very cross,” said one. But I get even with him.” yhat do you do?" ry time he scolds me I put starch in his handkerchiefs.""—Youngstown Telegram. A ciuscyMan writing to a daily paper says that he can play the mouth-organ. It was a manly confession and we respect him for it. —Punch. He Got It the First Time Scene: A Restaurant, Any Restaurany Tue Patron: Now, waiter, let's see. yes, I'll have a slice of honeydew melo, and make sure that it is ripe and chilled, and after that some jellied consommé not rubbery, you understand, and then Tl have two lamb chops (the waiter Scratchey his head with the pencil) grilled medium, some asparagus and some lima beans, with a butter sauce (the waiter taps his pencil against his teeth—both), and , carts-of-lettuce salad with a Roguefort cheese dressing (the waiter shuffles kis right foot on the floor), not a Russian dressing, but an ordinary French dressing with Roquefort cheese mixed in it, and for dessert, let’s see now, what will | have for dessert....(the waiter stares into space) ah, yes, the very thing, for dessert a bombe napolitaine, waiter, and a demi-tasse. (The patron sighs as over a job well done.) Tue Warter (briskly) :Yes, sir, yes, sit! (Shoving his pad and pencil under the patron's nose.) Now, sir, what is it you're going to have? Curtain Henry William Hanemann, TWO RETIRED AD WRITERS CONVERSE “Do you believe in dreams?” “What say?” “I say, do you believe in dreams?” “T don’t catch you.” “T say, have you ever known what itis to sink into the downy depths of a Spring- O-Mattress and drift away into the land of fairies and elves?” “OF course! Why didn’t you say sin the first place?” 1, D.T. New York’s Newest Hotel The Piccadilly 227 West 45th Street At B’way—New York Adjacent to Every Ac- tivity, 600 Bright Sunlit Rooms. Each with Bath, Electric Fan, Ice Water. Single Room and Bath $3.00 Double Room and Bath $4.50 Exceptional Restaurant ‘and Luncheonette Wire at our Expense for Reservations FP. D. SOFIELD, Mng. Dir. comicbooks.com