Life — August 2, 1928 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hollywood Pastimes (The Power of Publicity) “Now look, Miss Dreap. You just leave it all to me an’ I'll put you over in a big way. See?” “Yeh. How much'll it cost, Mr. Gold- farb?” “It ain’t just a business deal with me. See? I'm interested in you. See? I'm gonna make June Dreap as well known as Ivory Soap or Coca-Cola.” Phat’d be just dandy, Mr. Goldfarb.” “We ain't after pin money. We want heavy sugar. If I can’t get you a five pear contract startin’ at two grand a weck, | don't know this publicity racket. See?” “How much'll it cost, Mr. Goldfarb?” “First, you got to advertise big in all the trade papers—because them dirty so- and-so’s pan you plenty if you don’t ad- vertise in their lousy sheets.” “Is advertising expensive?” “Then, I'll take you around with me so you can meet a lotta big mugs in this business. It ain't how good you are, it's who you know in this racket. See? I know all of ‘em. Joe Apfelstrudel, assist- ant general manager of Magnificent Pro- ductions, went to school with my wife's sister-in-law,” “Do you get a percentage of my sala- ry?” “We'll work out some nice, dignified way of gettin’ you before the public. You're a very refined kid and we gotta do it dignified. See?” “Well, would it come to as much as twenty-five per cent, Mr. Goldfarb?” “Baby, I got it! Here’s somethin’ brand- new and very genteel: we'll hire a steam calliope, three-sheet_ your name all over it an’ drive it around Hollywood. It'll wow ‘em.” “How much will that cost, Mr. Gold- farb?” Robert Lord. THE EVOLUTION OF BUSINESS Once it was “your line of endeavor.” Or “your calling.” Or “your occupational pasa Or “your means of livelihood.” Or “your chosen vocation.” Or “your job.” Or “your game.” . . Now it’s “your racket!” A, Mr Sprurce: Well, it certainly is great to have dinner all by ourselves for 9 change. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi Bur yesterday his name was news; Today oblivion’s shadows fall, For man is as the powers choose And one convention changes all. What if he wear the weirdest chaps? No presses for the news will wait, For Time our sense of values scraps And fish alone now heed his bait. Time was, because he seldom spoke, His words for mighty wisdom passed, Now silence, like a muffling cloak, Makes silence meaningless at last. Dalnar Devening. Sales Talks “How do you DO Mrs. Jones I believe warm today isn’t it yes yes I am Miss Gluck of the School Children’s Census Bureau I am taking a census of all the school children to discover just what they read I'll just step in for a moment if you don’t mind and get the facts about your children I saw them playing in the yard the little dears such pretty children and so intelligent-looking too the little girl is the picture of you Mrs. Jones but I think the Fite boy ene his father I just saw Mrs. Murphy your neighbor lovely woman Mrs. Murphy she was telling me what great readers her children are I know your children must read a lot too Mrs. Murphy asked me to order a spe- cial set of books that I happened to tell her about the new International Library of Youth in twelve volumes bound in Morocco and profusely illustrated in all languages including the Scandinavian here is one of the books I just happen to have in my bag notice these topics for your child's sad reference just taking a page at random here we have Kangaroos Kinematics Kleptomania-Kosher Ku Klux Klan now isn’t that ‘educational you know I really don’t see how a child can be well-informed without these wonderful books now just sign the card and pay five dollars down and as a special favor I'll get these books just for you and Mrs. Murphy.” W. Boyce Morgan. PEEK-A-BOO Jenny (in department store): Oh, look at the pretty bathing suit. Everyn: Where? I don't see it. Jenny: Qh, right over there behind that price tag. He who laughs last reads the Lit- erary Digest: comicbooks.com