Life — June 21, 1928 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hill Farm, having been to Texas, it is alleged, to be an alleged judge in a so- called beauty contest. ***Rea Irvin is spending the summer at one of his country places, this one near Newtown, Conn., and his other one be- ing in Spuyten Duyvil, N. Y. The art business must be good, eh, Rea? THE DAVIS CUP By Euphemia Hemans Simpson If the American team brings back the Davis Cup, The American people ought to give W. T. Tilden II a Rolls Royce or a & Hup. eeeMiss Edna Ferber was still in Okla- homa 3 wks, ago when we said she had returned to N, Y. from there. The in- formant who gave us the item about her return is on our black list. Franklin P. Adams. NONCONFORMITY Motner (to daughter): Dear, I want you to go to church with me this Sun- day. Davcrter: Aw, say, Ma, what's the idea? All you hear there is a lot of propa- ganda for God. Tuost in charge of Al Smith's publicity now announce that Al is really a very mediocre golf player. There is simply no keeping this fellow out of the White House. LENG SPORTSMEN and SPORTS Out in the Open Apropos of the Na- tional Open Golf Championship a t Olympia Fields, Chicago, the reason why golf officials shift the tournament from one region to another each year is that it is necessary to give the inhabit- ants of the stricken areas at least two years in which to re- cover after the tornado has passed. An open championship is a three-day peram- bulating surprise party combining the best features of a transcontinental mara- thon and a Donnybrook Fair. No matter where they are held, the tournaments are all alike except that it rains harder at some than at others. A chap who makes up his mind to follow Hagen, Jones, Boomer, Farrell and Sara- zen revises his program when he arrives at the course and discovers that several thousand people have the same idea, that it can’t be followed because Jones will be a half-mile behind Sarazen and a half- mile ahead of Hagen, and that it’s a rot- ten idea anyway and he should have worn his rubbers. If a golf addict picks one of the lead- ing contenders and sticks as closely as possible to his hero, very likely he will be pushed off a number of mounds, shoved into several brooks, elbowed pro- fusely at every green, and mauled in the general rush over the fairway, and will limp to the clubhouse in time to learn that he should have followed two other fellows if he wanted to sce winning golf. Another method is to flit from place to place in pursuit of rumors, Jones is at the fifth—a grand rush to sce Jones; Melhorn is 3 under 4's and will break the course record sure—cross-lots after Melhorn; Farrell has 4-5-4 to lead the round by three strokes—over to the sixteenth tee to catch up with Johnny; wait a min- ute—one of the Brit- ishers is burning up the links—back to the ninth hole to catch him — don't breathe, he's putting —what! a 7 for that hole! he’s cooked!— get back of the ropes —here comes Hagen —how does he stand?—he’s three strokes behind Jones?—he’s three strokes ahead of Jones?—look out, there!—back on the left! back on the left!—it hit that man with the trick mustache—serves him right—Diegel got a 3 on the long hole— fore!—fore!—who turned in a 69?— well, what d'ya know about that?— fooled again! ‘T was ever thus. The crowd panted in pursuit of Jones, Hagen and Melhorn at Skokie the time that Gene Sarazen, then practically an “unknown,” played a final , | round in 68 before a gallery of about three Stay-at-Home (to blasé traveler): I suppose you've seen the whole world? ‘TraveLern: Oh, yes, What there is of it. men and a boy, and sneaked off quietly with the title. Except for the last part of the battle, Cyril Walker had the same ex- perience at Detroit when he won the crown. Nobody bothered about Willie Macfarlane at Worcester until it was dis- covered that he was running neck and neck with Bob Jones on the last nine comicbooks.com