Life — June 14, 1928 — page 41: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RHYMED REVIEWS The Great American Band Wagon By Charles Merz. The John Day Company. “Tue biggest, grandest, best on earth!” We hear the barker ballyhooing, And rush, no matter what it's worth, To do what all the rest are doing. The film unrolls, the newsboys cry, The bootleg pirate fills the flagon, The jazzband blares, “Come see! Come buy!” The Nation climbs the big band wag in. Our throbbing motors choke the ways, We join a thousand mystic orders; The crimes that cheer our duller days Demand a host of keen recorders. We build Egyptian bungalows, Venetian towns and pink pagodas; We tune a million radios, We fill our maws with sloppy sodas. about our golfing tools, We talk of cigarette aromas, We enter correspondence schools To win all sorts of weird diplomas. We throng, acknowledging the claims Of life’s more vivid purple patches, To beauty contests, baseball games And distant views of boxing matches. But when we snatch at gilded straws While staid observers deem us frantic, We act the way we do because We're just incurably romantic. We crave all thrills; and, not to miss The thrill of self-accusive railings, Devour a lot of books like this That magnify our faults and failings. Arthur Guiterman, OPPOSITION Tut potiticat. situation is becoming a litle complicated. Live in. its current issue comes cat for Will Rogers for President. This is the fist serivuts opposition to the Moran-and-Mack- for-Presitent boom. Mr. Rogers, of course, is a splendid statesman and would make an excellent President, but we remain loyal to our early choice, the first place, our ticket solves the 0 for the Vice-Presidency as well as the Presidency. Where could Lire get a running mate for Rogers who could ask him fenny questions? No, Mr. Rogers must remain our second choke. Should Moran and Mack be eliminated se will give him our unqualified indorsement. And to simplify matters, we'll make Lire’s can- late a proposition. Moran and Mack will shoot dice with him any time, any place, the winner to take the White House and the loser ket his beard grow until it is long enough to thoke Scnator Heflin, —Russcl Crouse, in New York Evening Post. Fixs: Gourer: What's par for the course? Stcoxn: Why?—St. Louis Post-Dispatch. cama antiieis| RQATING IS BETTER! MOTORING is all right! But when you are tired of dusty, crowded roads—when you want real thrills— try a boat! There’s no sport on earth like boating! Out on the water, buffeting a wind or merely moving calmly along, you will live more intensely than you have ever lived before! o 9 @ The Cruisabout is built for you! It is a cruiser, small enough to be inexpensive both in price and upkeep, but large enough to be a real boat. Four persons can live in it in utter comfort. © © © 0© © © © © o The story of the Cruisabout will be sent instantly at your request. Write for it today. RICHARDSON BOAT CO, Inc. 398 Sweeney St., N.Tonawanda, N.Y. Cruisabout Duplay Rooms in all Principal Cities Richardson, 9 RUINING THE ETHICS Ar the Academy of Music on 1yth Street the other afternoon, while the feature picture was running, a woman's shrill voice suddenly rang out, exclaiming: ‘How dare you strike me in public?" That's the spirit that'll show men. they'll have to keep some things sacred to the home. —Variety. REVIVED The best Richard Mansfield story we ever heard originated in Youngstown, at the old Grand Opera House. Knowing the great actor's repu- tation for temperament, the stage hands resolved to meet him more than half way. All of them bought ‘‘sneaks,"" which they wore to. make their footsteps noiseless, and cach one was in- structed to be as silent as possible. Standing in an entrance, the local stage man- ager said to the actor: ‘‘Listen, Mr. Mansfield, you can hear that clock ticking ‘way over there on the other side of the stage.”* **Yes,"’ replied the actor, tersely; ‘have it stopped." Youngstown Telegram. A GOOD TRICK Arter Mr. Winston Churchill had made his clever retreat on the kerosene tax he met a journalist in the lobby. He stopped him, and said: “Oh, Mr. Blank, what are they saying in the Press Gallery about my speech?"* The journal- ist suggested that perhaps Mr. Churchill might not like a truthful reply, but the latter insisted. “Well,"* said the journalist, ‘‘they are saying that you stood on your head because you hadn't a leg to stand on."* —Nation and Atheneum (London) : BOX MIXTURE " The favorite tobacco with college men for SO years” LEAVITT & PEIRCE inc. mawuracrunine TOBACCONISTS arenrceere UNDER Fii my MARWARD SQUARE CAMBRIDGE, MASS. comicbooks.com