Life — June 14, 1928 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Hey! What's the idea?” “Well, I guess I'm going to help Mother clean the living-room.” The Man That Writes French Composition Books Does a Cigarette Advertisement (1.) The cigarette which my company has made is better than the cigarette which another company has made. (2.) In it there is flavor, mildness, and good taste. (3.) It has also some tobacco. (4.) If it were not good it would not be pop- ular. (5.) The large wife of my gar- dener smokes often. (6.) Because her throat is tender she smokes very many cigarettes. (7.) She was accustomed to cough loudly, but now she does not do it. (8.) Although she was blindfolded she chose rightly. (9.) Have you any dimes, nickels, or pennies? (10) Spend them. please, and blow rings with the pretty smoke, W. W. Scots. It Happens Every Day, Really “A New York Stock Exchange firm has opened an uptown office for women only." —News item. “You really think I should buy Motors? Don't you think I'll make more if I buy that Radio stock that goes up twenty points almost every day? Don’t you think so, really? They won't print my name on the ticker or in the paper or anywhere when I buy it, will they? Oh, I see. I'm glad of that. I do so much dis- like any form of publicity. The papers are just always after me, you know. Of course you can’t appreciate how I feel. Will the Exchange members know who is buying the stock? They don’t have to call out my name on the floor of the Ex- change, do they? You say nobody will know a thing about it? That will be lovely, don’t you think? Well, I'll: stop in again some time. There’s no hurry about buying anything. Is there, ye John Read. “How is it Bill has two caddies and you none?” “One’s mine—he keeps track of Bill’s score for me.” Little Rambles With Serious Thinkers | Sex appeal is a mysterious something that lures the members of one sex towards the other.—Bernarr Macfadden. Tt is wrong to detain milk bottles. —Arthur Brisbane, Mr. President, for more than nineteen centuries mankind has had three unfail- ing sources of inspiration to heroic efforts, great accomplishments, and sublime achievements. For more than nineteen hundred years the three words that represent these ever-fowing fountains of inspiration have charmed the ears, bright- ened the hopes, and thrilled the hearts of all the children of men. They have in- cited the genius that has produced the most exquisite pictures ever painted, the most beautiful poems ever written, the most melodious songs ever sung—songs, poems, and pictures that have given us sunshine for our shadows, joy for our sorrows, smiles for our tears, and inti- mated to us the endless bliss of immor- tality in that “realm where the rainbow never fades,” where no one ever grows old, where friends never part and loved ones never, never die. These three mighty, magic, and in- spiring words are “Jesus,” “Home,” and “Mother.” —Senator Neely. Any man who marries a woman just be- cause she has $10,000 is a piker. —Dorothy Dix. The fact that a girl of three is enchanted by the gift of a doll, and the same girl at seventeen insulted by it, does not mean that the girl at seventeen has lost either her happiness or her enthusiasm; but that the enthusiasm, formerly aroused by dolls, is now stimulated by something else.—William Lyon Phelps. I feel it in my soul that I will be the next President.—Rev. Alonso P. Workman, of Joplin, Mo. “A writer,” said my editorial friend. “is only God's stenographer.” —Bruce Barton. Business is one of the two chief factors in the world’s civilization. Business is the other factor.—]. C. Penny. The American girl is the most potential force for good on earth today. —Katherine Mayo. Marriage is not by any means a state of bliss—Count Hermann Keyserling. Life, after all, is much of a gamble. —Bruno Lessing. comicbooks.com