Life, 1928-05-31 · page 20 of 34
Life — May 31, 1928 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Short Conversation"** (top left) satirizes overwrought romantic dialogue in contemporary magazine fiction. The joke is that every sentence begins with "I," "You," or "He/She"—parodying affected literary style. The dramatic reveal that the woman is already married for money (and the man's angry reaction) mocks the melodramatic plot twists typical of popular magazines of this era. **"The Coveted Insignia"** (right) discusses Dartmouth College's decision to grant varsity letters equally to all sports, not just "major" ones like football. The satire targets college snobbery: athletic distinctions were based on prestige, not actual athletic merit. The article mocks this hierarchy while joking that letter-size differences (seven inches vs. five inches) will wash away anyway—suggesting the whole distinction is trivial. The piece also notes rifle shooting was denied sport status entirely, and humorously questions whether chess qualifies as sport. **"Mr. Newrich"** (bottom left) is a brief caption joke about a wealthy man instructing his butler to arrange an "orgy"—likely meaning a lavish party, using pretentious language.
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18 A Short Conversation In the Latest Approved Magazine Style “I,” sap Donald Sealyham, lowering his lean, good looks into the hammock and regarding the distant stars, “am glad to be back!" “You,” Madge replied from beneath her long lashes, “have been away a long time.”* t,” avowed Donald as he lighted a cigarette, “seemed years!"” “I,” Madge whispered, the color surg- ing up her graceful neck, ‘felt the same way!"” “You,” Donald exclaimed, his steel- blue eyes boring into her soul, “did?” “I,” was Madge’s low answer, barely audible above the murmur of a distant bus, “hope to tell you!” “It is,” Donald's tone was harsh, mas- terful, ‘time we married!” “It is,” moaned Madge, tears accumu- lating in her fine eyes, “n't possible! I am already a bride!” “You,” Donald bellowed, blowing a sleeping bird out of a nearby lilac bush, “are what?” “He,” she murmured, weeping silently, “has a million dollars.” “What,” he asked the wide, calm night as he strode angrily down the terrace, his capable hands jammed into the pockets of his well-cut pants, “the hell do you know about that!” HB. TS The Coveted Insignia Ar least one of the big colleges — Dart- mouth—has abol- ished the distinction between “major” and “minor” sports. Hereafter at Han- over the varsity ““D"” will be awarded to tennis players and golfers as well as gridiron heroes and diamond stars. Doubtless other colleges will fall in line in the near future. It is merely another sign of the times. The “minor” sports have come of age. It should be mentioned that one al- legedly “minor” sport suffered great in- dignity at Dartmouth. That was rifle shooting. It was ruled no sport at all and the Athletic Association turned it over to the tender mercies of the Dartmouth Out- door Club. Though no official explanation 1, Hi » Wi YY Yi Mr. Newricit (to his butler) : James, arrange an orgy this evening. I am entertaining friends.| legiate sports is merely simple justice. and SPORTS was given, it was hinted that indoor rifle shooting was not an athletic contest and that outdoor rifle shooting, especially of the extempore kind, provided more ex. ercise for the persons who were shot at than for those who did the shooting. Nor did Dartmouth solve the famous chess problem. The colleges have been in bitter debate on that point. Is chess a sport, or isn’t it? And if not, what is it? The man who gives a lucid answer to this question will be given a season pass to the nearest public library. In recognizing that many “minor” sports had grown up, Dartmouth retained something of the old prejudice. Thus the varsity letter for football will be seven inches high. The letter for track, base- ball and basketball will be six inches high. For all other recognized sports, including tennis and golf, it will be five inches high. But this is nothing to worry about. Only very impertinent strangers will carry tape measures to dis- tinguish the gridiron hero (letter seven inches high) from the strong, silent golfer (letter five inches high). More- over, several nation- ally known launder- ers have deposed that these distinctions will all come out in the wash. After the third tubbing of the varsity sweaters, the letters will all be three inches high and the sweaters them- selves will be ught fits for Boy Scouts. Dartmouth saw the light with regard to “minor” sports when its basketball team won the league championship. Har- vard was impressed when Bobby Jones was a golfer, as well as a student, at that institution, Yale gave Jess Sweetser a varsity “Y" for proficiency on the links which included the capture of the na tional championship as well as the im tercollegiate. John Van Ryn will bring Princeton as much honor on the tennis court as some unhappy quarterback who fumbles a punt on the gridiron. Perhaps more, Granting equal recognition to all col Smash chasiny Alma into game ; ing or “Biff” that fc lacross sport. termin college letter that c« battery drown To ing of meet | comicbooks.com