Life — May 31, 1928 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dear Pat Wittaro: Far be it from me to torment you, mine pel, with the fun all of us are having along the Broadway sector, but the chuckles are terrific and the clowning is plenty nice. Spring has sprung at last, the gals look gorgeous in their new organdies, and the giggle wa- ter peddled in the various lah-de-dahs is still: selling at one buck a convulsion. The only illusions shattered since you went straight and be- came a provincial again are that Coca- Cola with an aspirin dissolved in it doesn’t provide the wallop that somebody said it did, and that the initials ‘S. A.” do not stand for “Sex Appeal” but mean “Suspended Animation.” At any rate, the next time you hear them sotto-voce ST that a femme is messy with “‘S, A.” you'll be ‘getting the office’ that she is the type that wonders how you get that way and insists upon having the taxi light on when you're taking her home. The stem is still groaning about such a pill, who probably will never live down her faux pas of last week. The dope, a Ziegfeld Pholly, had been invited to dine at the Ritz by a Wall Streeter who is generous and not too fresh, When he called at the stage door, how- ever, she had another voom-voom with her and she cooed: “My li'l girl fren’ hasn't anyone taking her to dinner. I hope you don’t mind her coming with us?" Being a regular, he proceeded to the Ritz, where the Aggravators, who apparently were never out before, ordered enough food to satisfy six persons. Suddenly the fellow excused him- self to make a phone call. The gals went ahead stuffing themselves and at seven forty-five they began to worry. At cight o'clock, with a half-hour to curtain time, they grew pale, which was when the captain, who had been instructed to watch them, came over and politely said: “Your friend was called away and told me to tell you the check was settled. He also said to give you this box.” They excitedly opened the carton, which contained a dozen club sand- wiches and a note which read: “I left these so that you wouldn’t get hungry on your way back to the theater.” The second best come-back was regis- tered over at Texas Guinan’s asylum when she refused to okay a certain drunk’s check. “Then do me a favor,” he chirped so all could hear, ‘‘my drink is warm; please dig down into your heart and fetch up some cracked ice!” I col- lapsed, Willard. Did you know that Longacre Square was named after Long Acre in London, to which it was com- pared in 1872 be- cause it became the center of Gotham’s carriage trade? That the only trees in the Incandescent District are located in the backyards of 46th Street speakeasies? And that Greenwich Village apartments Before I for- “You'd better pull up your shoulder-strap, dearie; you might catch cold.” \| Dear with stone your so bai old g ah.” Drop) week popul starve floor They “Wel twent Wh ing el as loc: Deal | other comicbooks.com