Life — May 24, 1928 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Short Run with Columbus (ds Joseph Hergesheimer Might Have Written It) Is that Cuba over there? at of it? Practically, ..I'm going to stop ore frightfully dull ce I took up gin. I took it up because I was bored, really. You may as alize that I got you up here on the bridge just to tell you that. I think T'll go cast for the polo. Tue First Mate: Not Marco? He's a thorough swine. He has no background at all. But then, you may like him. You probably do—you always were disagree- able, Columbus. I think you're the most disagreeable man I know. Corumsus: Oh, you're simply sob- bing, Porfirio. Tue First Mate: Well, whether you like it or not, it’s true. I'm simply sunk when I'm with you. Have another cock- tail. Co.umsus: No, thank you. I’ve given up drinking. It’s too sobbing. If it isn’t one gin it’s another. Practically, I’m sunk right now. Tur First Mare: I can’t ‘think what makes you act this way. Actually, you're vile, of course. Let’s put in at Palm Beach. Co.umsus: I positively am not going to Palm Beach. I assure you no! Actu- ally, | wouldn't be found dead at Palm Beach for anything in the world. The people there don’t exist, really; they're Tue First Mate: There are the Ma- gellans and the O’Callahans—— Cotumeus: Magellan will be drunk; he always is. I don’t want to meet him. I've always known him. He's simply sobbing. And O'Callahan... . .I think I'll get married. And have great strong sons. Millions of them. I'd enjoy that, I think. Tue First Mate: Columbus, if you go on this way, you'll be sunk. You really will. Have a cocktail. Nobody stops drinking, really. Co-umsus: Go to hell. You're the sob- bingest man I ever knew. I feel quite sunk. Absolutely, if you see what I mean, that's the way I feel. Is that Cuba, out front? Probably it is, IT don’t know, of course, it has to be. I’m re and have some fun with CotuMBUs: Practically, going asho the Indians, I'd adore it, actually. Heman Fay, Jr. “Hey, Grandfather, watch me take this hill.” Thoughts of a Taxi Driver Tuese two'll want to drive slow around the park she'll say oh don’t please Oscar then he'll neck her and she'll say oh you mustn’t Oscar it isn’t right and he'll say but I adore you and she'll say I bet you say that to every girl you meet there’s that cop that gave me hell for running through a light gee I wish I'd get a fare to Albany or somewheres I'm fed up with this burg there’s no variety wish I had enough cash to start a taxi business First Pevican: Pretty good fish you've got there. Seconp Peuican: Well, he fills the bill. of my own there's nothing in working for anybody else I bet I don't get two bits from this mamma's boy on this trip that hotsy-totsy shimmy-fluffer'll shake him down for his last what the hell the way some guys drive in this town you'd think they was Lindenbergh gee that lad'’s in soft wish I'd thought of doin’ somethin’ like that instead of driving a cab it’s about time this dame was sug- gesting Cuthbert take her somewheres to dine he'll want to take her to Childs’ and she'll suggest some more intimate place that'll set him back twenty smack- ers gee these saps let the women work ‘em for suckers wish I wasn’t working tonight I'd grab off that sweet patootic who give me the glad eye at Roseland I bet she’s hot stuff a nice little kid at that [ bet and no gold-digger I knew Oswald would be tellin’ me to drive to the Café Chantant by the time that bird gets out of there he won't have nothin’ but ad- dresses in his pocket book fifteen cents the cheap bozo I'd like to throw it in his face. Lloyd Mayer. Mrs. Jones: Do your daughters live at home? Mrs. Sar: Oh, no! They aren't married yet. comicbooks.com