Life — May 24, 1928 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WHAT THE ——! THERE YOU ARE IN YOUR BERTH WITHOUT you Tits L WITH ITIL READ ALL ABOUT IT IN THE Let ME TELL “to 1 N WEARING A LIFEBELT. 1s serious!” PERS ToMORROW !” —Séndagsnisse-Strie (Stockholm). Dr. Rosexnacit, who has spent two millions on books in the past twel seems without a rival as a best-buyer. —Punch ATS, TUE THEATER ATTENDANT TAKES OUT THE cHitone —Dublin Opinion, THE EASIEST WAY Uxpiscoveren church history from an ex- amination paper in a Los Angeles high school: “The Protestant Reformation was when the Protestants broke away from the Catholic Church and began to forgive their own sins.”—Christian Register. Tney are putting Wilson's portrait on the $1,000 bill—where only Republicans will see it—Pathfinder. MEDICINE AS SHE IS PRACTICED A cotoreo woman went to her husband's physician and said: “Doctah, Ah's come to see if yo’ am gwine to ordah Rastus one of dem mustard plasters again today. “I think, Mandy, perhaps he'd better have one more. “Well, he says to ax yo" kin he have a slice of ham wif it ‘cause it’s mighty pow"ful to take alone."—Chicago Tribune. THE VOICE WITH THE SOB Somroxe has invented a vending machine which, when you insert a coin, will auto- matically push out your cigarettes or chew- ing gum and also . when, as sometimes happens, it doesn’t push ut anything, we suppose it says, “Try again, Better luck next time!” —Detroit News. JOURNALESE IN FLEET STREET | One is forever being told that the Ameri- can language is making rapid strides in England. Almost any day now we expect | to hear of a London paper headline: “Wales Takes Double-header."—New Yorker. “She was under police escort, and police were thrown into the hotel lobby to hold back the crowds when she entered, weari huge corsage bouquet and looking a little cold.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Axp why shouldn't she? —New York Evening Post. Preitstoric oysters are being found in the Potomac River. They're about the only things quiet along the Potomac. —Arkansas Gazette, THE STRONG BOY OF GREENWICH VILLAGE Ix ri old days the scene was a mirrored mahogany bar, bright with ing glasses and shouts of cheer; the heavyweight cham- pion was John L. Sullivan, and we do not need to remind you what he regularly said when he announced his august presence, The curtain falls to denote the lapse of many years and quite a change of the American Scene. Now the stage represents the fine old English classroom of William Lyon Phelps at none other than Yale University, and the sunshine pours in through the mutlioned |casements on the aristocracy of Eastern wealth and lore. The heavyweight champion of the world steps up to the platform and is introduced to the class by the lucky Shakespeare professor. ° “My name is John Joseph (‘Gene’) Tun- declaims the speaker, “and I can read any book in the house !* —Chicago Evening Post, MATERNAL CANDOR Lerten received by a teacher in a Chicago | school: “Dear Mrs. ——: Please excuse my daughter this afternoon as soon as the bell ring as she is in the roller skate race and is trying to break her neck.” —Chicago Daily News. Pouiticat. zodlogists tell us that the G. O. P, elephant never forgets unless it wants to—New York World. — E, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA—CHIUC! BRICKS DOWN AS PAST AS 1 BRING “EM ‘SORL RIGHT—THE BOSS KEEPS PASSIN’ I’ rath Than ji It has ¢ And len It is a} ‘That lit The not And sa} Uses hi ‘And thi He can Withou! Expensi Or shre Were tl Society And co We cou Sign in Or ever It gives To kno To see And st: If I we comicbooks.com