Life — May 17, 1928 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Great Events in Future History | Mi Hi Hel ty 1975—Ground-breaking exercises for re-excavation of the Grand Canyon after it has been filled up with all the things the joke writers suggest be thrown into it. steal Walter Winchell’s word) from Night Clubs. “Oh, folks, you should be here! Oh, folks, who do you think has just come in? It’s our old friend Mr. Blumberg and you ought to see who's with him! Oh, boy! Now you're going to hear Miss Pearl La Due sing ‘Among My Souvenirs.’ Pearl is our little prima donna, Oh, folks, you ought to see Pearl. She's just one hundred pounds of class. Step up to the ‘mike,’ Pearl, and say ‘hello’ to the folks.” All right, Pearl, step up to the “mike,” but if looks could be broadcast, you'd never live to sing “Among My Sou- venirs.”” (By the way, if you are really enjoy- ing this article, won't you drop me a postal card saying that this is the best stuff in the magazine, so I can show it to the editor?) Stations that broadcast tabloid plays. Interviews with movie stars. Sister teams that imitate the Duncan Sisters and the Brox Sisters. Even the originals are not so hot, if you get right down to facts. Meetings of Women's Associations for Improving Anything at All. These meet- ings usually come in the late morning hours when the Home Girl is trying to work up enough energy to empty the ash-trays and take pieces of broken glass out of the rugs. And the Home Girl is in no mood to listen to any backtalk from her big sisters. (Anyone who writes me a letter telling me that he or she likes this article will get a photograph of me dressed in the costume I wore to the Beaux Arts ball in 1926.) “Happiest Hour” talks, History Classes, “How to Start a Tea Room,” “Fashion Hints,” ‘“Aunt'’s Chat,” Book Reviews, Health Talks, Reviews of the Business Situation, “Home Laundering,” and “Sayings of Great Men.” In fact, to be nasty, all speakers ex- cept Will Rogers. (No, Mr. Coolidge, I don’t mean you; you are no speaker. You Toucn Craracter (in tobacco store): Give us a package of cigarettes, buddy, and none of this “mild as May,” see? are the President of the United States.) (If you are enjoying this program, just drop me a line saying “I Love You.” I'll understand.) As for the health exercises, how should I know anything about them? All thee stretch-and-bend hours are held before half-past six in the morning. How any- one can get up before half-past six and stay healthy is more than I can under stand. I am now signing off until next week, but don’t forget, I expect to get a lot of letters and postal cards. So won't you pac run to your desk and write mea letter that I won't be ashamed to show to my friends? Agnes Smith. THE REVERSE OF IT “T kwow a lot of things I do not tell,” He says, and we will grant him that; although = The one thing all his friends know plenty well Is that he tells a lot he does not know. Strickland Gillilan. MEXICAN WISE-CRACKERS Prvro: What's José been doing wih that pistol? Micuet: He’s just made a hole ia Juan. Witt Hays was hired to lend respectability to the movie industry, ® now he has a perfect right to ask for some of it back. comicbooks.com \