Life — May 10, 1928 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Catifornia, the American Riviera Don’t you hear the West a-calling? Calling you who have been there be- fore and you who have yet to sense its bewitching charm. The Union Pacific West calls you to a vacation that will live forever in your memory. Geysers hurling columns of boiling spray hundreds of feet skyward, water- falls with sheer drops of half a mile, mountains thrusting bediamonded peaks high into cloudless skies. Canyons of bewildering grandeur, filled with gigantic architecture of stone painted with all the colors imaginable! Big trees that were saplings four thou- sand years ago! Motor trails up into the heights, to mountain lakes and tumbling streams, to cool valleys and to luxurious yet inexpensive highland chalets. Low Summer Fares via the Cool Summer Route to All the West Come out into the West this summer. Visit California, Yellowstone, Pacific Northwest and Alaska, Colorado, Zion and Grand Canyon National Parks, Bryce Canyon, Kaibab Forest. And don't forget the cities—Denver; Ogden; Salt Lake City; Portland; Seat- tle; Tacoma; SanFrancisco; Los Angeles —ceach with its individual charm. It’s not expensive on a low cost independ- ent or Escorted All-Expense Union Pacific tour. ppo--= CHECK AND MAIL COUPON --=-—, 1 General Passenger Agent, Dept. 209 § Union Pacific System, Omaha, Neb. Please send me complete information in ! cluding cost, and booklet. PACIFIC ‘THE OVERLAND ROUTE LIFE ““THE STARS CAN TELL—"’ Wuen he was born all the stars were in propitious propinquity, according to the astrologers, and it was freely pre- dicted that he would ascend to heights where all men would envy him. But fate seemed to shoot his horo- scope all to pieces. As a lad he never won at marbles and every other kid was able to lick him. He became a laughing-stock when he reached man- hood, for he was homely and he lost job after job because of dandruff. He never was able to master the ukulele or spring some snappy retort; he blushed whenever the waiter spoke to him in any dialect other than the one he was accustomed to use. Girls shunned him and he found life a miserable mess. But in the long run astrology proved infallible. Today there isn’t a man in the country who doesn’t envy him. For his father got into politics and became acquainted with an oil _mil- lionaire, and now our hero spends all his time loafing and drinking. R. H. THOUGHTS WHILE SHAVING “Heicu-no. Every morning I shave it off and every morning here it is again. Wonder what would happen it I'd quit shaving and grow a beard? I'd look like a Russian. Russian—caviar to the general. But are generals fond of caviar? Admirals have more fun than generals—unless they happen to be disposed to sea-sickness. That gin is poisonous. It always gives you a headache the next morning. I'm tired of having hangovers. Guess I'll go on the wagon. But not until after Ed's party next Saturday night. Wonder if that red-haired girl will be there? If I'd think less about red-haired women and more about the bond business I might be able to pay some of these bills. Never worry about your debts. Let your creditors do the worrying. Bernard Shaw said that. It might have been Aristotle. Gee, I've forgotten everything I ever learned at school. Wish I'd taken up a good trade in- stead of wasting four years going to college. Have to get another tube of shaving cream. How can I remember to buy one? I should begin to develop my memory. Addison Sims of Seattle. Puget Sound. New York, New Haven and Hartford.....Thank — Heaven! That’s over until to-morrow.” Robert Lord. “We never know how a boy is goin’ t’ turn out, or when a girl is goin’ t’ turn in.”"—Abe Martin, in Indianapolis News. 2 Wonk HONK CHU YY @& x When your opponent sneezes at the top of your swing .., —it is not considered good form to hit him with anything heavier than a mid-iron. This handicap may be partially overcome, however, by wailing till his back is turned and using a properly balanced club for the operation. On the other hand, if you are already using properly balanced clubs (Wilson Interrelated Irons, to be exact) it will take more than a sneeze to throw you off your swing. GOLF EQUIPMENT WILSON-WESTERN SPORTING GOODS CO, New York Chicago San Francisco DANDRUFF A Sure Way to End It There is one sure way that never fails to re move dandruff completely, and that is todissolre it. Then you destroy it entirely. To do this, just apply a little Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp and rub it in gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandraf willbe gone, and two or three more applications will completely dissolve and entirely destroy every single sign and trace of it, no matter be¥ much dandruff you may have. You will find, too, that all itching of the seal? will stop instantly and your hair will be lustross glossy, silky and soft, and look and feel a ba dred times better. You can get Liquid Arvon at any drug stem and a four ounce bottle is all you will n This simple remedy has never been known # comicbooks.com