Life — May 3, 1928 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

bs OU’'VE got to admit it \ looks pretty good for the Democrats,” said Mr. Stubbs. “Where that ide: ou been gettin’ asked Uncle Henry. “Listenin’ to this fellow, Bryan?” “You've got to admit he’s pretty good,” said Mr. Stubbs, “The trouble with bein’ pretty good, ‘Lonzo, is that it ain’t quite good enough,” said Uncle Henry. “The Democrats believe Free Silver is pretty good, but it strikes me that I've faintly heard people talkin’ about gold as bein’ simply magnificent in the way of metal. “I guess I’m kind of old- fashioned about some things, Hinnissey—I mean 'Lonzo, and one of them is that there's no flies on me if I can help it. Oi'm afther belavin’ that the Dimmycratic Pahrty —I mean, I believe that the Democrats are regalin’ them- selves with Bryan’s oratory as if it were a new beverage. One swig of it and the world seems a little pleasanter. You feel a glow. Two swigs and all you see is the invitation to more enjoyment. Three drinks and all you notice is the bubblin’ stream of ideas With Apologies to Collier’s, The National Weekly, ooks Like McKinley “I’ve been a-hangin’ round this old so-called world of ourn quite a spell now, "Lonzo, an’ after lookin’ at both sides ¢ 1h argument, an’ weighin' one thin’ with ‘nother, I've Just about decided that what was good ‘nough for Mr. Dooley °s goad "nough for me.° proceedin’ from the Silver Voiced Orator of the Platte. When you go that far you're beyond everythin’ but the Keeley Cure or a Republican landslid “But you've got to admit some of the Republicans are worried, Uncle Dooley,” said Mr. Stubbs. “Not on your out to his boat in Chesapeake Bay. For a while it got so bad that every time he threw his hook into the water a head would bob up and ask if it couldn’t have a post-office ap- pointment or be Ambassador to the Court of St. James’ or somethin’. He tried hittin’ them over the head with an oar but it only encouraged approachin’ swimmers to think there might be an im- mediate vacancy somewhere.” “But you've got to admit Bryan’s a good man,” said Mr. Stubbs, whose agreement was that after every long paragraph he should raise a new question so that Uncle Henry could keep the article going. “What's that got to do with it?” replied Uncle Henry. “The big thing to- sweet life,” said Uncle Henry. “It's the Demo- crats that are worried. They've been stunned by the thought that may be they've really got hold of a good propo- sition at last and are kind of be- wildered because if it is they won't know how they'll find offices enough in Wash- in’ton for their loyal workers. Cleveland has been away fishin’ so much that most of the office hunters have been put to work to keep them from swimmin’ comical. winner: “Nameographs” Try this fascinating new game. Just arrange the letters of any word so that the picture thus formed looks Here's this week's prize- exon G &, iin “M—O—T—H—E—. ‘ 3 Harold W. Ross, Dubuque, lowa. & 2 © Ry” by eae day, Hinnissey—doggone it, I keep on mistakin’ you for somebody else, 'Lonzo—the big thing to-day is the bicycle craze. It’s gettin’ so now that you can’t go down the street without—” “But you've got to admit that you talked about bicycles a couple of weeks ago,” said Mr. Stubbs. “That's perfectly — true,” said Uncle Henry. “Suppose I keep on discussin’ the polit- ical situation. Well, here's Bryan and McKinley, two bright young fellows if | ever saw two. And it’s goir’ to be an invigoratin’ caw- paign, too. If it does nothin’ else it'll make the country healthier. The people are goin’ to spend more time in the open air than they have since Prince Henry was here. Accordin’ to last week's ste- tistics, forty: thousand Bryan Marchin’ Clubs have been organized in Nebrasks V “ galle alone. The price of kerosene ff Hav for use in torchlight parades Tria is now so high that if a fel- : low wants to fill an ordinary HS" house lamp he has to give 4 a mortgage on his house to ® chill Grand Marshal. On the other ~ hand, it’s been a godsend to the the red fire people. It's ak ready reached a point where heer a city street don’t look nat fi ‘ ural at night unless—” food “I wonder,” Mr. Stubs 7 interrupted, “if Finley Peter % Dunne ever reads these a the ticles.” I rf “I wonder you don't, keep your mouth shut more,” said Uncle Henry. comicbooks.com