Life — May 3, 1928 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With Apologies to The Nation The Truth About Hoover E have been vouchsafed by the Government pub- licity bureaus a great deal of information concern- ing the beneficent activities of the Secretary of our national Department of Commerce, but there seems to have been a strange silence concerning what were known as the “Hoover mutilations” along back in June, 1905. For nobody wants it bruited about not only that Herbert Hoover cut children’s ears but that his entire chest and back are tattooed with pictures of ships and girls’ names. And yet there are records on file showing that a certain “Humphrey Hofer,” during the month of June, 1905, took eleven children out into a ficld and pierced their ears for earrings (the earrings, by an odd chance, had to be bought through the American Institute of Mining and Metallurgical Engineers) and then sent them packing off home, tired but happy. Later in the day, this same Hoover, or “Hofer,” was found to have a complete series of frigates tattooed across his chest and the names “Pearl,” “Minn” and “Nini” on each shoulderblade. This matter has been brought up before, but the whole thing was hushed away by the Government officials’ saying that they didn’t know where Mr. Hoover was but that he would be back after lunch. This was in June. In July (pages 145 to 170) there seems to have been a sudden infla- tion of currency, with some slight fever, but the records do not say whether or not it was any fun. What the records do show is that we have for a Secretary of Commerce a man who sets fire to old people’s houses, And that’s not very nice to do, is it? India Resurgent HERE seems to be some slight misapprehension in the I public mind concerning the motives behind the recent anti-British revolt in India, or rather concerning the anti-British revolt which is imminent in India. This is doubtless due to the fact that the situation has been be- fogged by the statements issued by the British Foreign Office and by the International Wagons-Lits. There are three distinct parties in India: the Centrist, the Grand Centrist and the Right Wing Under. Sometimes one hears of another party—the Old Party Returning Slightly the Worse for Wear from a Regimental Dinner— but that is only in Punch, and is never very funny. The Centrist Party, or adherents of Rahman Digg, have been in power now for six or seven yearos, and have ruled with an iron hand. They have suppressed free speech; they have advocated a seven-cent subway fare; they have been just as nasty as they could be to a whole lot of people. This has been due to the fact that India now functions under an obsolete law known as Ohm's Law, whereby a falling body increases in physical attraction thirty-two fect per second per second, making it, by the time it has landed, practically irresistible. Against this law there has been a vast amount of agita- tion on the part of the people who like nice things. The Grand Centrists, or advocates of the Slightly-Ajar Door policy, have taken the middle course, as usual, and are try. ing to drag a fish, fowl, or good red herring across the trai in order to avoid the issue. Our correspondent, whose article on the subject appears on another page, seems to feel that the issue can not be avoided. We are inclined to agree with him. The time is coming when England must take India into account, just as there was a time coming when the United States had to take Nicaragua into account and didn’t, and when Italy had to take the Tyrol into account and hasnt yet. But, sooner or later, all these things will come to pass, either through revolution or violet rays or that Divine Lay which watches over children and drunkards, and when that time comes, it will be time for France to take the French peasant into account and depose that tyrant who now holds court at Versailles. Mr. Kellogg’s Dilemma T is perhaps not too early to begin worrying about the next Nicaraguan crisis, if the present one can really be said ever to have abated. That the United States has acted in bad faith goes without saying, but even that would not seem to justify Secretary Kellogg’s arbitrary destroc tion of the machine-guns captured on the Austro-Hungarian border. If Mussolini wants an ally against Jugoslavia, and we have every indication that he does, he has at his disposal the counter clock-wise sections of the Treaty of the Trianon, and unless he is definitely and ruthlessly out to make a enemy of the Bratiano government, he can do better tha oppose President Leguia (of Peru somewhere). We have as yet had no occasion to change our original opinion that merger between the Seiyukai, or landed interests of Japa, and the forces of Sandino would not only prove an embsr rassment to Secretary Kellogg but would bring the whole matter to a head and confuse the issue to a point where the United States would have to explain its position or “est crow.” Correspondence To tue Epitor or Tur Nation: Sir: As one who makes it a rule never to write letters to editors, permit me to say that I think your magazize is a “darb.” We swear by it in our family, and when the postman leaves it at the back-door every week, I can tell you there’s some scramble to see who'll get it first. With so much destructive criticism and knocking going on this world, it’s a relief to find a publication that has the courage to tell the truth about people without getting sore or hurting their feelings. We're all crazy about your big, gripping serial story of romance in the U. S. Marine Corps and it just scems as if we couldn’t get enough of “Hey” Broun’s little nature talks. What a soul that ma must have! Give us lots more of Broun! Well—I wont bore you any further. I guess you get so many letters like this that one more doesn’t make much “diff,” but ! just thought you'd like to know how one group of readers feels about The Nation. Keep up the “good work!” Carvin Coottcr, Pres. Washington, D. C., April 24. comicbooks.com