Life, 1928-05-03 · page 12 of 46
Life — May 3, 1928 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents a satirical monologue titled "I Converse with My Criminal Subconscious," attributed to "One of the Criminally Insane." The accompanying illustration shows a distorted, somewhat grotesque face rendered in dark, scratchy lines—likely depicting mental illness or psychological disturbance. The text is a stream-of-consciousness rant mixing random violent and criminal thoughts (murder, theft, assault) with mundane observations, stream-of-consciousness tangents, and absurdist non sequiturs. The satire appears to mock pseudo-Freudian psychology popular in the 1920s-30s—the idea that respectable people harbor dark criminal impulses in their "subconscious." The humor derives from the jarring contrast between civilized society and the chaotic, violent thoughts supposedly lurking beneath, presented as darkly comedic rather than genuinely threatening.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“T ET me alone, can't you?.... Li please, you big bully!....I just want to sit here peacefully and count the bars on my window—they’re all the bars I’ve got now... .Prisoner Pales as Judge Flails Ale Sales..... Brilliant Boy Scout Bugler Blames Bad Booze on Beer Ban.....Local Lay Leader Lauds Liquor Law, Says Sal- vation Sure....... I can make a poem on that: Some of the boys are wet-wet- “so THAT’S LINDBOIGH, EH! THE Bic FAKE!” With Apologies to NEW MASSES “| CONVERSE WITH MY CRIMINAL SUBCONSCIOUS” By One of the Criminally Insane wet; Some of the boys are dry; Some of the boys have got nobody home (dum dee dum) And so am I!....That’s pretty, that is....1 wonder if I can stand on my head?.... Oh, goody, it makes all my ideas run down into my ears!....Y. M. C. A. Worker Weds Female Impersonator.....Surgeon Grafts Glands on Big Bronze Statue. ...-Oh, give me a little peace, will B erinie Here I just get nicely bal- anced and you have to bring that up! ...+No tact, that’s you.......Admiral Warns of War with Wooloomooloo.. ... Admiral Screams Head Off at Banquet. ....It must be tough, at that, being an Admiral; nothing to do but watch your stomach grow and wonder which coun- try the Government wants you to get nasty about............ I guess I'll just count those fingers again—why, there are ten of ’em!.....That’s a laugh!....Business Grows By Leaps and Bounds..... Business Leaping and Bounding All Over Hell... ..Finance Adopts Panic Tactics While Falling Frane Flings Frantic Antics in An- Stocks Zoom as Boom *Boom-boom-boom!” bass drum, ‘Toot-toot!’ hoots the flute!......Oh, shut up, you fool, you make me sore!....There’s a swell crack in the ceiling. I can pre- tend it’s a great big river and I'm just a poor little fish..... Damage From Floods Supersedes Trotsky as Russian Bank Head..... You say the queerest things!....How can I help it, you poor fruit?....You can, though, it’s just a matter of self-control..... Bar Biga- mists on Brooklyn Bible Board, Preacher Protests.....Self- control, your grandmother's red flan- nels!....Minister Shoots Cabaret Dancer for Moose..... Bishop Bares Bad Morals of Small Boys..... Good for you, Bish, you tell ’em; you ought to know!....How’d that bird get in here? He’s no cuckoo. ...-Ah, but he acts awful some- times......Honeymoon Pair Fight Fierce Battle, Three Dead.....Pet Dog Warns Family of Fire in Heater. ..+-Suicide Compact Lost in Subway. +.+-That doesn’t make sense..... Riosesed Search me, but you don’t have to be tough about it, you won't get anywhere with me that way.....If I knock myself o the knee and it jumps I am, and if j don’t I aren’t..... Balloon Soup! Scientist Infects Guinea Pigs with Flat Feet.....Man Finds Humay Skeleton in Old Suit Pocket... . Eleven Weds Armenian Octogenariss in Athens Aquarium, Navy Department Hears.....Salesman Stores Slais Wife’s Segments in Sample Case... Among my souvenirs—that’s a_ pretty thing, too. .......‘Ho, ho, ho!’ said th jolly old innkeeper—he turned out to be Arthur Brisbane in a dirty aproa ++++Wholesale Grocer Returns After Death, Surprises Undertaker -Re- former Seeks Love Nest, Finds Full Fi Grown Alligator.... urteen Horses Bl neck Burned in Alaska Beauty Parade..... C Calf with Seven Heads Born to Hous ff and Cat..... That's enough, that’s enough, now!....Mind me!....I won't listes to any more of that sort of thing—I'l lose my temper and cuff about a yan YA) of cuticle off you in a minute! Ho-hum....Isn’t it dull in here M -If I should take a ni long running dive into all that padding, Sh I wonder how far I'd bounce back?” MAYTIME Miners die in cave-in, Three found crushed in cars; Warden shot in bitter fight defending prison bars; Flapper drinks wood-alcohol; Teller tries the noose— ¢ This is not a safe world, and life’s of little use! 2 Poet dies of poison, Gangster by a gat; Lady leaps ten stories from her lover's furnished flat; Broker slowly sinking In arms of weeping wife; Capitalists have all the fun— there’s little chance of life! Misers die in attics, Murderers in chairs; Servant girls get stabbed to death “t descending cellar stairs; twee Heroes after battle guns Grow ill and die in bed— “E What’s the use of living “T with so many people dead? comicbooks.com