Life, 1928-04-19 · page 13 of 43
Life — April 19, 1928 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humor pieces: 1. **"A Presidential Candidate Orders a Dinner"**: Satirizes a political candidate's indecisiveness and obsessive attention to trivial details (menu choices) immediately after writing his political platform. The joke mocks how politicians focus on minor matters while claiming to lead the nation. 2. **"It's Time"**: A domestic humor piece by Marion E. Burns about a man's impatience waiting for a plumber and his wife—poking fun at the common frustration of waiting for tradespeople. 3. **"The Clothing Salesman Who Was So Good He Sold Only to Twins"**: Visual gag showing an overly persuasive salesman who sells identical outfits exclusively to twins, suggesting his sales pitch is so effective he's created this absurd customer niche. All reflect period humor about everyday frustrations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Presidential Candidate Orders a Dinner Immediately After Writing His Platform « HAT’S good to-day, waiter?” “The tomato bouillon is very nice to-day, sir.” “I am in favor of tomato bouillon, but tell me—what are those people over there eating? Is that tomato bouillon?” “It is cream of celery, sir.” “And over at that table and that and that—and ‘way over there?” “Cream of celer. “Bring me som y and—let me see—I think I'll have 1, what would you suggest?” ‘The chicken @ la Maryland is very nice to-day, sir.” “It has met with approval, has it?” “It is very nice, sir. no complaints.” “Have a majori here ordered it “Some have—and then some have ordered the chicken cutlets and some the Virginia ham steak and some the sweetbreads, but most of ’em have had the chicken @ la Maryland, sir.” “Well, I'll have that and you'd better throw in the chicken cutlets and the Virginia ham steak and the sweetbreads, Now as to vege- tables: ‘How about a vegetable dinner, sir? You won't miss any of the popular vegetables then, sir.” “That's a good idea.” “Uh—will you have your tea and coffee and Postum and milk and but- termilk with your meal, sir?” “We-ell, let me have—well, frank- Ivy, I'l have the tea and coffee with the meal and the Postum, milk, and buttermilk afterwards.” “Dessert—uh—desserts? Do you want to order them now or later?” “Well, yes and no.” I have heard y of the people in Tupper Greenwald. Exterior Decorating OTHER: Why is it taking you o lo it on y ? so long to put on your dress? Davouter: I can't decide just where to put it. PUBLISHERS of confessional magazines are living off the fat- uous of the land. “Say, buddie, what's inside o’ them things?” It’s Time I AM not an impatient man—I know that Rome wasn’t built in a day and that there's no use in trying to hurry up a plumber. When I am waiting for my wife to mect me, I never expect her until after she’s actually there, and when I ask any of my children to do a certain thing, anything, I don’t anticipate its be- ing done until I do it myself. I have fished all day, with never a complaint for the lack of so much as a nibble, and I know the futility of fretting and fuming because oppor- tunity hasn't yet knocked at my door, I have persistently believed that all things come to him who waits. I have always been perfectly willing to bide my time. But now, I do wish they'd hurry up and get to the feature picture! Marion E. Burns, comicbooks.com