Life — April 5, 1928 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life Seeing the World ... . . By Rube Goldberg HE idea seemed to come to all of them at once. It hap- pened one evening when Fred and Tillie were playing bridge at the home of their erstwhile card companions, Ted and Millie. One of those world tour companies had sent a circular to Fred. His wife, Tillie, believing it to be a monthly bill, threw it into the waste basket. Not having a printed bridge score handy, Fred reached into the basket and pulled out the folder. He opened it and his eye caught a beautiful picture of the S. S. Pyorrhea with a crowd of Aber- crombie and Fitch window dummies standing on the deck drinking in the grandeurs of Egyptian — antiq- y. There was the Sphinx, as quiet as ever, and each pyramid poked up its head in ma- jestic splendor like the point on an efficiency ex- pert’s lead pencil. Fred opened the folder, hoping to find a blank space upon which to mark the bridge score. Every page was crowded with pictures and glowing accounts of the strange and mystic countries. Gibraltar, Algiers, Port Said, Mecca, Bombay, Delhi, Omsk, all alluring and wonderful! The four bridge companions — Fred and Tillie and Ted and Millie—grew more wide- eyed as they turned the pages. It did not take long for the idea to develop. Each brain worked like a machine in a Ford factory. The synchroniza- tion was perfect. It was Fred who voiced the thought that was born simultaneously in all four heads. “What do you say if we four take one of these trips together?” No answer was really needed. A mellow note of unmitigated delight came from the throats of the other three. “That will be thc cat’s!” shouted Ted. “It will take a great part of our savings, but think of the educa- tion!” exclaimed Tillie. “Mar-ve- o-luss!" cooed Millie. The trip was on. There was practically nothing to do but get the tickets and pack. Fred went to his office the next morning and arranged his asparagus business so it would work automatic- ally for the next six months. Ted went to his factory and discovered to his great joy that the output of sewer pipes for the coming half-year was the people of Siam were really twins, What a privilege it would be to fill their fountain pens from the waters of the Black Sea. What glowing tales they would be able to tell of Java, where the coffee beans grow so large they could hollow one out, put wheels on it and use it for a taxicab, Perhaps they would see an elephant stampede and bring back an actual picture of the elephant that won. The four of them were going to see the world and learn its secrets, The knowledge to be gained was worth the expense twentyfold. It was the event of a life- time. Sothey sailed away. 5 adhaleded (The siz little dots above denote the passing of siz months.) RED and Til- lie and Ted and Millie were “By the time we reached Tunis, we actually had played ten rubbers and Ted and I were $36.28 ahead.” one hundred per cent contracted for. Tillie gave the cat to the ash man and Millie went to her doctor and made sure that her nervous dyspepsia would not need attention for at least six months. T was a bright, clear day when the S.S. Pyorrhea sailed out of New York. A crowd of friends saw the happy foursome off. They envied them the opportunity to rediscover the charm of the old world. The art education alone. was worth the money. A ride on a camel over the mysterious desert was a rare experi- ence to be treasured in one’s memory. They would study conditions in India and see chutney sauce actually in the process of creation. They would have a rare chance to find out if all home, surrounded by their many friends, who wait- ed, popeyed, for the glowing ac- count of the trip. They had been places, seen things, had their grips plastered with labels, and come back! ‘Tell us about the Rock of Gibraltar,” begged an admiring friend, who was so im- bued with the educational part of the occasion he did not even attempt any of the usual references to the Prudential Life Insurance Co. The Rock of Gibral- Fred, his face glowing with pride. “That is the place where I bid five hearts with only three hon- ors in my hand, and actually made it.” This description was a slight dis- appointment, but, after all, a person giving a travelogue must take a little time to get warmed up. “Tell us something about the Sa- hara Desert,” requested Mrs. Gad- get, who wished to get the trip in the proper geographical sequence. “I don't (Please turn to page 45) comicbooks.com