Life, 1928-03-22 · page 9 of 34
Life — March 22, 1928 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical humor typical of early 20th-century Life magazine. The main content is a mock "Annual Report" from a minority stockholder in the Disraeli Kneepants Company, written by Arthur L. Lippmann. The stockholder complains about poor corporate performance: the company made negligible dividends, charged him $340 in safe-deposit fees, and his shares are now worth only $15.67—less than a bicycle or radio set. The accompanying cartoons mock everyday frustrations: a mother discovers her son kept a pet moth in his new suit's pocket; two women discuss a new cosmetic product with an unflattering name. The humor targets corporate incompetence and domestic absurdities rather than specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Minority Stockholder Submits HisAnnual Report To the President of the Disraeli Kneepants Company. R Sir: I've enjoyed your snappy little annual reports no end, and as light reading they have afforded me many happy moments, but this year ] feel moved to submit my report to you. Your stockholder has had a very poor year despite constantly increasing overhead, and, contrary to your roscate predictions, views the future with alarm. Our fiscal year ending April Ist opened with a very favorable out- look but the birth of Junior cost your stockholder a pretty penny and he was forecd to utilize some of the cash he had in banks for reserve pur- poses. Early in February, stock- holder's wife insisted on a new fur coat. Strenuous efforts were made by subscriber to postpone, but to no avail. New construction dur- ing the year totalled six hundred dollars, being cost of repairing garage fence around premises, stucco on soutli wall and new banister on stairway in hall, former one having been demolished on New Year’s Eve during « quiet little party. Income during the year did not in- crease in proportion to expenditures. MotHer: What’s that hole in your new suit? Son: I was keeping my pet moth in there and he got away. Py Una ees 4 ain WY; YY y Vii Stockholder’s salary remained the same, though poker winnings totalled $134.98. Against this we must charge loss on two hundred shares of Amalgamated Federated Pool Cue Company common stock which was purchased at 1233 and sold at 67§. For this tip your stock- holder has you to thank and if you were only here in person he would enthusiastically dem- onstrate his appreciation. In conclusion, the under- signed desires to state that he owns seven hundred shares of common stock in the Disraeli Kneepants Company. He has held these shares since 1911. Not only have they yielded him no dividends during that time but safe-deposit charges to date have cost him $340. Value of these shares to-day is about $45.67 and your stockholder will trade them for a bicycle, six-tube radio set, stomach pump or what have you?. The past year has given some inkling of what we may expect in the future. With a deep sense of what his step means, with a profound feeling A GR of loyalty to his community and family, your stockholder hereby an- nounces that he is about to board a sailing vessel for Pago Pago with the intention of entirely forgetting to re- turn, Respectfully submitted, Arthur L. Lippmann. Atice: What's the name of that new kiss-proof rouge you're using? Maset: It's right on my lips but I can't remember it. comicbooks.com