Life, 1928-03-08 · page 9 of 43
Life — March 8, 1928 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon ("Any Old Port in a Storm"):** A woman driver seeks refuge in a "safety zone" during a storm. A cop sarcastically notes she drove into it because women drivers are inherently bad—a common 1920s stereotype mocking female motorists. **Main Article ("A Constant Newspaper Reader Makes a Few Predictions"):** This satirizes how newspaper readers extrapolate wild predictions from current events. It humorously lists absurd future scenarios (a Utah girl with nine feet, a Wisconsin man with a twenty-one-foot beard, etc.)—mocking people who read newspapers too literally and draw ridiculous conclusions from mundane news stories. **"Symptomatic" Comic:** Two fathers commiserate that their sons are "lazy," suggesting shared parental concerns about youth.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Any Otp Port in a Storst Cor: Lady, don’t you know this is a safety zone? Woman Driver (in difficulties): Of course—that’s why I drove in here, A Constant Newspaper Reader Makes a Few Predictions IS 1928 a Utah girl will appear with hair nineteen feet long; a hippopotamus in the Bronx Zoo will have a tooth filled; Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis will eat a frank- furter sandwich at a baseball game; a ten-year-old freshman will appear at the University of 3a cat will mother a little family of mice; a rock-formation will be discovered in the Allegheny Mountains with an outline resembling the profile of George Washington; a Moline, IIl., boy will chew three hundred and y sticks of gum at one sitting; 'y-four nationally known physi- cians will announce that hair-bobbing Tue Exrinc Hussano: C'mon in with me, Sam, and be a good-will ambassador, won't cha? must produce a race of bald-headed women in the near future; a Wis- consin man will appear with a beard twenty-one feet long; Judge Kene- pen ae saw Mountain Landis will eat a bag of peanuts at a base- ball game; a Hollywood actress will have her sweet- heart’s name embroidered on her hat; a rock-formation will be discovered in the Ozark Mountains with an outline resembling the profile of Abraham Lincoln; Co- lumbia University will announce a se in the technique of the “true ; a Norwegian sailor will un- dertake a trip across the Atlantic in an open boat twelve feet long; Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis will drink a Coca-Cola at a baseball game; Babe Ruth will give a congratula- tory handshake to Einstein and to the boy with the most freckles in Greater New York; thirty-six for- eign celebrities will declare that the girls of America are the most beauti- ful in the world and Gertrude Ederle will acknowledge all these compliments on behalf of the girls of America; a giraffe in the Bronx Zoo will have his throat swabbed; a rock-formation will be discovered in the Adirondack Mountains with an outline resembling the profile of Will H. Ha Kansas boy will grow a prune the size of a pumpkin and receive a free trip to Washington; Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis will rest his chin on the front ledge of his box at a baseball game. Tupper Greenwald. Symptomatic IRST FATHER: My son is going to undertake a companionate marriage. Seconp Fatuer: My son's lazy, too. Tue Tor: You know I’m new at this, Tue Bottom: Well, never mind. You'll soon catch on. comicbooks.com