Life — March 8, 1928 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tuincs We Reap Asout put Never See “The entire Board of Estimate hung on the Mayor's speech to the very last word.” Glossary of R. R. Terms IMITED: Word used to de- scribe the accommodations for which you pay Excess Fare: Something you nev- er get in a dining car, sometimes col- lected by a Train Robber: Ticket agent, con- ductor, porter or any other employee of the R. R. Company except the Car Knocker: The passenger who sits next to you and refers to the make of car you drive as a bunch of junk, and is always asking the Conductor: The fellow who gen- erally comes around when you can’t find your ticket, whether the train is On Time: The way you bought the car, or forever talking about some R. R. Wreck: What you think you will be by the time you arrive at your Destination: The place where you forget to get off. Asia Kagowan. OUR-GUN PHIL: Too bad about old Jake Sourdough. He died of excitement when he struck gold on that claim of his. Six-Gun Steve: Yep, he didn’t know it was loded. The Speakeasy Influence “Goon afternoon, sir. I'm a friend of Mr. Paul Humphries, who always trades here. Paul told me to drop in any time I was in town and tell you that he said I was 0. K. I'm also a member of Paul's club, Here's my membership card. ll right? You'll take care of me? Fine! Now, I'd like to buy half a dozen silk shirts, some polka-dot ties and a pair of lavender sock garters.” “Hello, hello. Is your name Mitchell? Do you know Cliff Butler of Indianapolis? Yes? Well, I live right across the street from Cliff and we drive downtown together every day. My name's Henderson—Chud Henderson, and this is my first visit to New York. Listen, I don’t talk like a cop, do 1? Yes, I can come right over. ‘Two seats about the fifth row center for the Follies? Good!" “Hello, is this you, Tony? This is Mrs. Kornbloom, recommended to you by Mrs. Eric Collins of Fair view Parkway. Mrs. Collins said to give you the password ‘Sapristi’ and you'd understand. No, my husband doesn’t work for the Government. | hope you'll take care of me, Tony, as I'm badly in need of some stuff. You will? ‘Are.you ready? ‘A loaf of rye bread, pound of butter, six nice oranges, anda quart of milk. Ring the bell. four times and bring it up the back way.” Arthur L. Lippmann. The Baseball Expert IX his time he has seen the open- ing-day crowd grow from five thousand to fifty thousand, the ad- mis jump from fifty cents to two dollars, and the sack of peanuts shrink from forty-two to nineteen. Having seen Joe McGinnity pitch both games of a double header and win both of them, he cannot be ex- pected to be excited over every find of the club’s ivory hunters. He remembers when a cool drink meant a glass of beer for five cents, so it is hard to interest him in what the refreshment vendor has to sell. At the press gate he can tell the actors from the newspaper men. That is not he leaning over the railing by the home players’ bench telling McGraw how to run the team. He is out in the bleachers. McCready Huston. comicbooks.com