Life, 1928-02-23 · page 9 of 35
Life — February 23, 1928 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes sentimental rhetoric about childhood innocence. The headline announces "The Materna Guild of Camphor, Ill., Discovers the Soul of a Little Child," and the left column contains deliberately garbled, pseudo-profound dialect about children's spiritual essence—mock-serious nonsense written in incomprehensible babble. The lower cartoon shows two adults sitting together. The man asks if she thinks it's getting colder; she responds by suggesting he put his arm around her. This illustrates the satire's point: adults exploit saccharine sentimentality about children as a cover for their own selfish romantic or sexual intentions. The page mocks both overly sentimental organizations that claim deep wisdom about childhood and the hypocrisy of adults who hide ordinary motives behind noble language.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Materna Guild of Camphor, III., Discovers the Soul of a Little Child (Mrs. J. Noah Waggoner [whose three darlings are known about town as The Young Hellions] reads a paper explaining the principle of the thing.) “[ AIDEZZ auv thee Mutterna 4 Guild, anduh furrendz anduh muthuzz frawm neigh-bring sssit- tehz, wee are mett thisss ahftuh- newn tew cunnsssidduh some auv thee probblummz auv thee no-o-0-0- o-o-blist pro-fesshun ummung awl auv thee warldz multeh-tewdy-nuss ack-tivvy-tizz...I reefah tew thee say-krid pro-fesshun auv muthuh- hood! I amm going tew touch light- Ich uppawn my own ecksspee-rienssiz weeuth that —miss-tee-e-e-ceriusss fillew-idd: thee tennduh, budding soul auv a littul cheeilde. Sissstuzz inn muthuh-hoood az yoo are, you can reddilleh unndersstand huwwen I say that nuth inn awl Ilife iz sso ssenssy-tivv, sso peeyoor anduh sso soo-weeetleh unn- sspo-illd! Thee bulloom awn thee pettul awv thee shurrinking vio-litt iz not sso delly-cate az thatt uppawn thee spear-it awv thee growing, unnffolding checilde naychuh! Thee bulloo awv thee bulloo, bulloo hev- vunz iz not sso unssullid az thee huwwite, unnbec-smirchtt page awv thee growing cheeildz _ inn-telly- \ \aean / DEY 1 wish I hadn't tried to be quite gentss...."" (Sympathetic nods, sig- nifying: “How true that is!").... “Huwwye, then, is itt nessseh-ssurry, az sssum ssseecm tew asssyooommm, tew use fawce anduh caw-reckshun, inn thee upp-bringing awv owuh luvvleh ch Uldrunn? Itt iz not nesseh-ssurry, oh beelceve mee, Laidezz awv thee Mutterna Guild, itt iz not nesseh-ssurry!...Inn awl my deee-lingz weeuth my own littul darrlingz, cuvverring a peee-riudd He: Don't you think it’s getting colder? Sue (resignedly): Oh, all right, go ahead and put your arm around me. Tousee so nonchalant in lighting that Murad!” awv yeeeuzz, I have nevvuh ecevunn yoozd thee harsh word, ‘Don't!’.. .1 turrembul faw thee fee-yoochuh awv thee race, huwwen I think awy thee tennduh littul naychuzz, woo-00-00- oondid anduh bllleeecding speary- chulleh frawm — unn-simpy-thettic wordz awv cawreckshun! inn Muthuh-hoood, I fecel uppawn my own boddeh thee immpact awv angry bulloze shedd uppawn dee- fenseless littul boddiz by thouzundz awv broootull pay-runts threw-out theze Yooonitidd Sssstates!" (Sub- dued but fiercely maternal sniffles.) “Iff a cheeilde duzz wrong, shall wee bee-eet him? No! Shall wee make hiz turrussting littul eyes wett weeuth teeeuzz, by callusssleh find- ing fault? Uggen, no! Shall wee disstroy hiz faith inn owuh alll-inn- vellupping luvv anduh tolly-runts by yoozing wordz that shall sscar hiz beee-yooty-full cheeilde soul? NO, I say!!" (The entire front row bring out handkerchiefs.) ‘*Muth- uz: Heeeeed what I ssay tew yoo! Iff a cheeilde iz inn thee wrong, lett him find itt out faw himself! Leeceve it awl tew hiz sense awv fairnesss, tew thee innnheeeerunt no-billy-teh awv thee unn-spo-illd cheeilde nay- chuh!" (Strong murmur of ap- proval, somewhat marred by foot- shuffling from Mrs. Arthur Hunter, whose back porch was set afire by the three tender young Waggoners.) Heman Fay, Jr. comicbooks.com