Life, 1928-02-16 · page 7 of 38
Life — February 16, 1928 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine contains humorous wedding-related content. The top illustration shows two vaudeville performers juggling at what appears to be a theatrical wedding ceremony, satirizing the theatrical spectacle sometimes made of such events. The main text, "The Vaudeville Master of Ceremonies Officiates at a Wedding," is a comedic monologue by someone identified as "B. F. Syleester" (or similar). The master of ceremonies delivers absurd, rambling remarks at a wedding, making crude jokes and inappropriate comments typical of early 20th-century vaudeville humor—such as jokes about the groom's horsemanship and crude references to newlywed life. The scattered jokes below (like the "shortest distance between two points" riddle) are typical period humor filler. The satire mocks both vaudeville entertainment conventions and poor wedding etiquette.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“I hear that Romer’s Flea Circus got stranded in Allentown.” “Yes—the leading lady ran off with a poodle.” The Vaudeville Master of Ceremonies Officiates at a Wedding of you out to-night. I don’t know what you're out of but I hope it is nothing important. You look happy, so I presume you are not out yet. Thank you. “I guess everybody is here, most of you hoping for the best and some of vou thinking it serves one of them right. The bride’s mother is sad; it certainly hard to part after so many yea Thank you. Her father is bearing up well. How- ever, I have it confidentially that they are not going to lose their daughter. Thank you. Must be a lot of fathers here to-night. “Well, here is the big marriage and funeral man. Let me introduce the Rev. Oswald Chubb, all dolled up like a plush horse. Take a bow, Oswald. You know why I said Os- wald was all dolled up like a plush horse? There wasn’t any sense in that remark, was there? Well, speaking of horses, I was chatting the Prince of Wales in London ew weeks ago. He asked if I wouldn't try, when I got back to the States, to correct an impression “Heesxets I am glad to see so about his riding. He said, ‘You know, Jerry, old chap, these m haps are not altogether my fallt. Think fast out there, friends! Use the old skull. He said to me, ‘It’s not altogether my fallt.". He has to “What is the shortest distance between two points?” “Lindbergh.” take the fall for the horse. THANK YOU! It took two minutes for them to get that in New York. In Chi- cago, they never did get it. “Now, we'll have a little some- thing from the organist. Here Comes the Bride and how! Boy, she’s a knockout! Imagine her say- ing she’d obey anybody! Give the little girl a hand, friends, and now one for the Bridesmaids’ Chorus! “Has any one seen the groom? Ah, there you are! Come out from behind that palm, you little devil! Friends, this is why girls leave home. Thank you. Henry, are you sure you can support her? What? Help! Henry says he garter! Stand back, men! Don’t shoot now. Where's the best man? Ah, Sheriff, keep your eye on him....Everybody set? That's great. All right, Oswald, do your stuff. Thank you.” B. F. Sylvester. “7 DIDN'T get a wink of sleep last night.” “What was the trouble?” “The tap dancer in the apartment above mine was walking his baby.” comicbooks.com