Life — February 16, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Is THAT BOTTLE THE 0: CONSOLATION You WAVE Lert IN Tite wortp?” + NO, MA’AM—I GOT ANOTHER ONE IN MY PocKeT.” —Le Rire (Paris Sententious Tne World Al- manac began to be our favorite reading matter ever since it printed, in its “Short Dictionary of Ameri- can Biography,” the following item: “Han- cock, John: born 1737, covontt rawerxce died 1793; occupation: A caricature from — signe New York Everybody’. ‘eekly . Ereryposy's Weekly Evening Post. Lament How long the song of sorrow rings ‘Through mortals’ melancholy soul— How swiftly fade the worldly things: A smile, a rose, a ton of coal! —Buffalo Courier-Express. A Man’s House, Ete. He: After all, I am sure there is no place like home. Sue: Why, has something unpleasant happened at the club, dear? —Pearson’s Weekly (London). THE FISHING ENTHUSIAST GETS A NEW ADD[TION TO THE FAMILY. —C. C. N. Y. Mercury. “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” Installment Restrictions A woman asked her daughter one afternoon recently to stop using a vacu- um cleaner which the family had just acquired. “T don’t want her to use it,” the mother said to a caller, “because we are paying for it on the installment plan.” “Well, Mother,” the girl complained, “can't | play on the piano, either?” —Youngstown Telegram. 1928 Version Is time of peace, prepare four more detachments of Marines. —Brooklyn Eagle. Tue difference between colleges and nations is that colleges sever relations to prevent trouble.—Detroit News. BLASS OF ELDERDERRY WINE LAST WED- PSDAY ? Mendicant: ves, M IF YOU COULD SELL ME —Passing Show (London). Impatience Bossy was getting impatient with his sweetheart and said: “Betty, how is our romance going to end?” “Why, Bobby, why did you go and bring that up? You don’t want to skip to the last chapter yet, do you?” was the apprehensive reply.—Indianapolis News. Why Be Ashamed? “*My husband is not ashamed to admit that be likes his whisky and sodo.’""—Daily Paper. “Axp so do I,” she meant to say, no doubt.—Humorist (London). A MAN has less courage than a woman. Try to imagine one with twelve cents in his pocket trying on seven suits of clothes.—Detroit Free Press. Mopern Version: Children should be seen and not had.—College Humor. Our Office Boy (out for a birthday eve- ning, to dignified head waiter of fashion- able restaurant) : —Tit-Bits (London). Country Life in America “A number of Coeburn and Tom's Creek people accompanied by a few from Norton were at Pound Gap Tuesday night attending the lynching, Names of those present we obtainable at the time of going to press.”— Crawford's Weekly. Next week the church supper, then the Community Chest drive—these are busy days!—New Yorker. Had Seen Enough A Fuurtxo, after visiting the United States and observing our various re- strictions, went home and advised the gang: “Keep still about liberty.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Acconprxe to an ancient etiquette book, “When alone with him, a lady may ad- dress her husband by his Christian name.” Yes, and how! —Arkansas Gazette. ern een ie “AND DID YOUR POOR HUSBAND SUFFER VERT tone?” “EVER SINCE THE DAY ME MET ME.” —Buen Humor (Madrid), comicbooks.com