Life — February 2, 1928 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why We Separated By Her ECAUSE he had a habit of bouncing into a room when least expected. Because he smoked Sixth Avenue’s most asphyxiating stogies. Because he would sprinkle their ashes all over my favorite des- sert. Because he would talk golf for hours on end. Because he would remain speechless for hours on end. Because he would insist upon being the Life of the Party. Because he was either frightfully | jealous or not in the least so. Because he had a way of slamming the door so hard that it would shake the entire house. Because he liked red-heads. Because he would tell me the identi- cal lies that I told him. Because he would insist upon being dignified when completely pickled. Because he would pretend to be somebody else over the telephone. Because, after 1 a. M., he had a habit of performing acrobatic feats with | _ the waiters, _ Because he preferred blondes. Because he always wanted to be logical about everything. Because he almost had a fit if I was five minutes late. Because he would invariably com- ment upon the amount of rouge I was wearing. Because he would never comment upon the chic of my new hat. Because he was crazy about bru- nettes, Because, when angriest, he would smile placidly. Because his bootlegger grew con- sistently worse every month. Because he was full of conversation about London, Paris, Rome, Venice, Deauville, and Palm Beach, but never did a thing about any of them. Because he would almost explode at his own jokes. Because he was a fool over chess. Because he nearly always imagined I was flirting with some other fellow, Because I nearly always was. Charles G. Shaw. A Tragedy Averted “Car's, our foghorn won't work!” “WHAT Ie" “Lor’ bless ye, Cap'n, if you can say that every ten’ seconds in the same voice we're saved !"—Pearson’s Weekly. Tis city’s declining birthrate, de- plorers say, is due to an increased desire for life's comforts and luxuries. We are selling our birthrate for a mess of pot- tage.—New Yorker. (O, dear reader, the cop can't ar- rest him for it because “hebe- tude” means folly. And if that were a crime, there would be millions of people guilty—including everyone who leaves the delicate lining of his throat unprotected against dust, germs and raw biting winds. Effective protection is so easy to “The cheapest health insurance in the world” SMITH BROT get! Smith Brothers Cough Drops safely guard and gently medicate the throat tissues. They quickly soothe irritations, relieve hoarseness, ease and stop coughs. Your whole throat is cooled, cleared, refreshed. 5c—S. B. or Menthol COUGH DROPS Clear up bloodshot eyes quickly and safely When eyes become bloodshot from wind, dust, over-use,crying orlack of slecespely a a few drops of harmless Murine. Soon they will be clear again and will feel re- freshed and vigorous, Try it! RINE; of Scotch puns, direct makers sult henethe by pest, $2.08 per ve. ra, Sempies free om stating WALL, 277 Stornoway, Scotland. CHARLESTON South Carolina GREATER WRITERS THAN KAY VERNON have failed to express the quaint charm of CHARLESTON, S. C., “America’s most Gtistoric City” Consult Kay’s letter in this issue of LIFE and write to the CHAMBER OF COM- MERCE, CHARLESTON, S. C., for de- scriptive literature. MEN OF BRAINS Cortez AGaRs -MADE AT KEY WEST— comicbooks.com