Life, 1928-01-26 · page 23 of 34
Life — January 26, 1928 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of 1920s satire: **"Raw Material"** mocks the timber industry and magazine publishing by personifying forests as future magazines—specific pines becoming *McCall's*, *Harper's*, and *Woman's Home Companion*. The joke: forests are being harvested solely to feed paper mills for glossy magazines. **"Old Mother Husbard"** (illustration, lower left) appears to satirize domestic life, though details are unclear from the image alone. **"Just Between Us Girls"** is a monologue parodying upper-class women's affected speech patterns—exaggerated capitalization and arbitrary emphasis (*aSKEW*, *MOIL*, *POSTman*) mock vapid socialite chatter. The narrator obsesses over trivial concerns (wallpaper, an attractive stranger's letter) while dismissing servants and complaining endlessly. **"The New Triangle"** jokes about modern legal-mindedness: a child prefers being "the lawyer" over playing house, reflecting anxieties about professionalization and changing social values. **"Preliminaries"** contains a sardonic pickup-line joke where a man's shameless persistence after rejection is rewarded.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Raw Material GEE the forests on these hills, Destined for the paper-mills: Pause amid these woodland scenes— Here are future magazines. There a sturdy giant falls: That will be the new McCall’s, —Here’s some timber for a dry jest In the Literary Digest. Sce that pine against the sky? That is Harper’s for July. See that hemlock in the canyon? That's the Woman’s Home Com- panion. —There’s a fellow cutting spruce: Let us ask him, for whose use. What! It’s for the Mercury? Woodman, woodman, spare that tree! Norman R. Jaffray. The New Triangle BOBBY: Come on, Freddy! Me an’ Jane’re gonna play mama an’ papa. Wanta be the little boy? Freopy: Naw—I wanta be the lawyer. SOME people’s idea of a real bar- gain is to get an expensive radio set for a song. Life SUST BETWEEN “MY dear, I’m all-aSKEW-and- aSKANCE, no less, because I mean I've been in a perfect MOIL and SWOIL the entire DAY—you know the TYPE! I mean MOTHer got me out of BED at the CRACK of DAWN to look at WALLpapers because you know we're doing overthe LIVing-room, my dear, and MOTH- er has the perVERTed iDEA that this ELephant’s breath shade is the DUCK’s QUACK! And, my dear, I was sort of SITting round VAGUEly in my ROBE de NUIT, no less, sort of ARguing HEAT- edly with her when the DOORbell began ringing FUriously, my dear, and WHO should BOUND into the room but Tom DRIBble, my dear, and I NEARly had hysTERics be- Ovp Motner Hussaro US GIRL¢ cause I'd forgotten comPLETEly that in a moment of arbiT’RAtion I'd promised to WALK out to the COUNtry Club with him at eLEVen and, my dear, he was SIMply LIVid and at this point the POSTman arrived with this tre MENdous LET- ter with special deLIV’ry stamps all over it and, my dear, I was SIMply THRILLED because it was from this TERribly attractive YOUTH I met on the STEAMer but it simply DIDn’t make SENSE because I mean he must have been TIGHT when he WROTE it or something because it was simply CRAMMED with the emost en- DEARing EPitaphs and I hardly KNEW him at ALL—can you BEAR it, my dear? And the Plodder GILmartins came to LUNCH and I had to ask TOM, my dear, and there were only FOUR SQUABS and MOTHer had a poached EGG and the COOK was all hot and BOTH- ered and she’s LEAVing because she says MOTHer inSULTed her— can you BEAR it? DO get me a cocktail or SOMEthing at this point, my dear, because I’m on the VERGE of colLAPSE—I mean I ACtudlly AM!” Lloyd Mayer. Preliminaries E: Will you marry me? Sur: No—I wouldn't marry any man. “Well, if you would marry any man, would you consider marrying me?” “No, I could never marry you.” “Fine! Now that that's settled, let’s pet.” THEY laughed at me when I spoke to the waiter in Italian—but he came right back with some Scotch. comicbooks.com