Life — January 19, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ DON’T BELIEVE IN DRINK, AND YOU'VE IAD TOO MUCIE ALREAD “VES, LAD IY YOU WAS TO GIVE ME ANOTHER IT WOULD SICKEN ory iT VOR THE REST OF MY Lt —Bulletin (Sydney). Groucho's Work, Evidently Tue Four Marx Brothers, now in Los . kept the wires humming with rre holiday greetings. One received on a fancy Christmas blank read as follows: “Arrived safe; wire — confirmation Marx Brothers.°—New York World. discovery on the site of ancient abylon of love-letters engraved on stone and beginning “Honey shows the folly of not destroying correspondence of this nature.— Punch. Mrs. Maggs: 1 suppose You'Re EXCITED AT THE THOUGHT OF SEEIN’ YER UUS- BAND AGAIN AFTER BEIN’ SIX MONTHS witnoct ‘im? Mrs. Daggs: yes, DEARIE. IT WAS ME THAT WAS TI CAUSE OF "IM GETTIN’ 718 SIX MONTHS. —Smith’s Weekly (Sydney). “Ant Scissore aut Nullus” Hot Stuff A ~xew novel has come out under the name, “Black Coffee.” Suggested criti- cisms or blurbs for the jacket: The cream of the season's output.” Keeps you awake at night.” ust the thing for after supper.” “The rich flavor and aroma...” “Affects the hardest heart. “For adults only Fresh and unadulterated.” “Relief from the daily grind.” —Detroit Neiws. Passing Observation Tue trouble with these “Do You Want Money?” ads is that when you read th you always discover you either have to work for it or mortgage something to get it.—Cincinnati Enquirer. ETH THE Vinst LES —Yale Record, A Traveler's Tale A youxe man declares that he bought a second-hand car in New York for forty dollars, crossed the continent to this ci and sold the boat for thirty-five dollar: He further declares that his traveling ex- penses were paid by two Scotchmen. It was a pretty fair story until he marred it by an anti-climax. —Portland Morning Oregonian. “They Were Amazed When I Answered the Waiter in Perfect French” Apvertisement in Philadelphia Bulle- tin: “Belgian police dog, pedigreed, trained. Understanding English, French, Spanish.” —Woodstown (N. J.) Monitor-Register. Sales Psychology “Wary do you employ such dumb-look- ing salesmen?” “Well, it makes the customers feel that they cannot help but get the best of the bargain."—Pitt Panther. “Securing a revolver, the physician fired four blank shots at the intruder but none of them took effect."—Selt Lake Deseret News. Somenow or other.—New Yorker. WoMAN —ANctr Dublin Opinion Add Modern Complexities New developments generate new crimes, The pencil seller who was ar- rested for assaulting a man who refused to buy will be charged, it is thought, with “feloniously attempting to overcome sales resistance.”—Boston Transcript. “Wuex Lindy’s around an American diplomat must feel like a husband when his son's home from college.” —Abe Martin, in Indianapolis News. Reaves, it seems, was tried by a of his tears, —New York Evening Post. The Patient’s Wife: om, nerore you GO UP TO SEE MY IIUSBAND, DocToR, WILL YOU JUST SEE WILAT’S WRONG WITIT CHU-CHU? 16's NOT VERY WELL, The Doctor: NOTIN THE HALIT OP TREATING DOGS PROFESSIONALLY, MADAM. The Patient's Wife: ou, 1xverp! THEN YOU NEEDN'T ATTEND MY IIUS- BAND.—Sketch (London). comicbooks.com Bi He “h