Life — January 12, 1928 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Barber’s Only Rival “To L take a couple more gallons, sir. ‘Five's enough, thanks.” “Check the oil, sir?” “I think I’ve got plenty.” “How about a little air in the tires?” Let ‘em go.” “Had the crankcase drained and refilled lately “Thanks, “Wipe off 3 ts all right, thank “Shall I take a k ential and transm “Thanks, I only wanted five gal- lons of gas.” “Special rate this week on oiling and greasing, sir.”” “Just got her fixed up last w Anti-freeze mixture all righ es. Thanks. “Just a minute, sir. Wouldn't you like one of our new stickers in your windshield?” “1339-9 "I1 11 NO!” Chet Johnson. The Test of Time IRST ARCHZOLOGIST: Why is this clay tablet less well pre- served than the others just exca- vated ? Seconn Arcuxo.oaist: It is ap- parently a bit of half-baked phil- osophy. Goodness! bump? Jersey Driver: We just ran over a mosquito. Guest: What was the Just One More of the Law’s Delays. Ns Lops Diary December Lay late, pondering 20th this and that, such as why men who work in fish markets and butcher shops wear straw hats all the year round, and how much money could be made from a successful formula for can- ning Hollandaise sauce, and the tendency of Americans to consider “sex” the only synonym for“morals,” and what a pity it is that holiday baskets are filled with confections in- stead of pickles, but I was finally obliged to leave off in order to keep my appointment for a new permanent wave, and whilst the girl was slipping the curls into the tubes and making me look more like the Chinese empress every minute, she did confide to me that the Frenchman who did invent this process which has been more of a boon to my sex than all the franchises and equal rights there are in the world did de- rive no financial benefit from it of anv consequence, and I was at some pains not to burst into tears therefor, albeit I can sit unmoved at such information as that Poe received but ten dollars for “The Raven,” my private conviction being that he betimes, finding that our Cousin F, had sent us a fine Chippendale stool, circa 1780, from Mr. Cooper's shop, and that mother had sent the last of Sam's yearly quota of tea cakes, which are the best that ever I ate in my life. Dr. Cuff to see me, and I do know well that the visit was in- stigated by Sam and not casual, for in inquiring about the agony which I did suffer last week from an attack of acute dyspepsia, he did caution me to stop (Please turn to page 33) Automobile Show was overpaid. Lord! if there be monuments reared to the pio- neer in Camembert cheese, what a shaft should go up to this un- honored and unsung inventor who has made it possible for women to defy the elements and yet look passable when they arrive at a party! Home Wirte: Well, the auto show was lovely but it does put ideas in one’s head, doesn't it? Hussy: we go over and buy Junior that Kiddie Car Indeed it does, What do you say we promised him? comicbooks.com