Life — January 5, 1928 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Influence of the Crook Drama Upon Two Members of the Clothing Business “H ELLO, keed. show opp?” “Vot baby?” “Dot hod-boiled heck from Peets- burg. He vas sapposed to lay some jeck on our fency models—soiges.” “No. I spotted heem fa a ba- I vas t'inking he vouldn’t show opp. He's a phony.” “Dot's too bad. He looked like he vas good fa a grend.” “A grend? Say, dot heck ain't even got a yard. He vas a beeg-time Charlie.” “No use gabbin’. Vare’s Bella? she should take some deecta- Deed dot baby “Dot dizzy brutt hasn't come een ‘Vot's de trouble vit dat dame? She t'inks maybe dis is a spikizzy?” “Seence she became engaged to dot deeck she’s not de same moll.” “Our Bella ees engaged? Say, vot ees dees, epplesauce?” “Epplesauce me eye. Deedn't you see de crecked hice he gave her?” ‘Bella vears crecked hice? Say, Leer) Tbr | “Oh, Lord! It's gonna be a formal party! We'll have to wear stockings!” dot leetle dame might be a clessy mama yet.” “You sad a mout’ful. Vell, it looks like vere stock vit dem fency garments.” “Dees ees a helluva bizz- ness. I'd like to sock de hold man fa breenging me opp in dees bizzness.” “Keep your noodle. De only way to make some kale dese days ees to peck a rod and do a steeck-opp.” “Say, don’t hopen yur trep, beembo. Vit so menny bools even dot bizzness ees on de fretz.” “Mex Plotkin from de Ess and Kay Clothing Stur hendles hootch on de side and he’s cleening hopp like nobody's bizz- ness.” “Say, dot butlacking ces a reesky game. So Mex Plotkin ces also a goreela?” “IT sad to Mex, I sad, ‘Leesen, Mex,’ I sad, ‘some bonch hi-jackass veel holt opp yur truck from hootch and veel bomp you hoff, beeg as you har. Dis ain’t no recket fa you.’ “Vell, you know how Mex Plotkin ees. Always eetch- ing to go. Always choong de reck.” “Leesen, Sem. Here comes a cus- tomer. Don't for- get to palm off de soiges.”” **Blow, veel you?” “T got you, keed. I'm takeenkde hair.” Arthur Kober. NY business executive will tell you that speeches on com- pany loyalty al- ways go over best on pay days. The Trophy Room “Killed 'em on my last trip to Canada,” Interview “NJ OW, my dear sir, will you have the kindness to tell me how long you worked in your last situa- tion?...Thank you. What was the name of the firm, please?...Thank you. I'm afraid, however, the salary you demand is just a trifle higher than it’s been our custom to pay. But you may rest assured, my dear young man, that it will be increased as soon as you demonstrate an in- dustrious interest in your duties. Have you the slightest objection to being placed behind the ribbon coun- ter? I'd advise you to thi offer over. ...Thank you. be greatly indebted to you if you'll be so obliging as to present this card to the floor manager. You are sure you don’t mind? My utmost thanks. And before you go. Remember that's the way you're to speak to custom- ers of the store. Now get the hell out of my office and don’t forget you're fired if you come to work two minutes late.” Harry Epstein. Companionate Mother Goose PETER, Peter, pumpkin eater, Had a wife but didn’t keep her; For she with Pa and Ma did dwell, Which suited Peter very well. comicbooks.com