Life — December 22, 1927 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life The Christmas Spirit Invades the Apartment House Before the Holidays— And After The Elevator Man “ET OLD the elevator while you go back for some- thing? Certainly, sir; no trouble at all, sir. lovely, brisk, beautiful day, sir. But you'd better wear that heavier overcoat. And your rubbers. No, sir, it doesn’t look so bad, but there ain't no use taking chances. Not this time of year. You get your mail all right, sir? You get your papers all right? You get the milk and cream ? Let me post that for you. I've got a stamp right here. What time will you be back, sir, and what shall I say in case you was expecting any one? Oh, no, sir, no trouble at all. Good morning, sir!” Fine, “EL TEM ring! Bunch of stiffs!’ What do they think ve got to do allday—runthisdamncar up and down = And that Hookus guy. I'll get him! Comin’ in the car with half a can on and tearin’ the decorations. After I lay out a buck and a quarter in the five-and-ten for decorations, the big stiff comes in half soused and tears € They're all souses in this dump—souses and crabs ind tightwads. I wish they was all dead on the floor I'm gonna blow this joint now that the Christmas sugar is over. Ring, damn ya, ring! I'm running the car down to the basement and knock off a smoke!” The Superintendent “GOOD morning, sir! Plenty of heat? Plenty of hot water? Anything need fixing up in the apart- ment? About that radi rial, si The company of course don't allow no aerials on the roof, but you just let ther e away, sir. You got that acrial there, and that’s that. And them boxes of yours in the trank room The company's orders is that only tranks are allowed, but if you was wantin’ to store a couple or more barrels, I guess we won't say nothin’, ch? Heh! heh! heh! And about that thing what you said ought to be fixed, I'll be right up and after it this very afternoon. Yes, sir!” “COMPANY get on my neck, will it? All right Bright and early to-morrow the hot water gets turned off and I lay up the boiler for repairs. That's how I feel about it. Might just as well shut off the cold water too. Them pipes has to be went over. Then I'll take out the light fuses and go over the wiring and rip all them damn aerials off the roof. Yeah, and I guess I'll throw all them boxes and junk out of the store room. I gotta make a stab at gettin’ this dump in shape in case the com In case w! haw! any wants to raise the rents. That's a hot one! The Telephone Girl “NO, sir, they don't answer. I'll try them later, sir, and call you. A Mrs. Goolick called, sir, She'd like to know if you'll come to dinner to-night and her number is Regent 5642 and shall I get her for you, sir? Operator, will you hurry that call or will I report you to the manager? A man was here with a bill or some- thing and I told him you were out of town. And thank you for the magazines, sir. Oh, you're kidding, sir, I look like a J-on collision to-night, honest. 1, sir, you're not no pain in the neck yourself, either.” , “QBIZZY! K Swattim tellinya sbi: Seventeen chemises and fourteen pairs of silk stockings—they musta thunk I’m a family a’ Siamese triplets. V'm tryin’ yanummer! Atwater 3215 donanswer—Billings izzit, wellen whyncha sayso? No theyain't nobuddy callup wazout—well, they diddin, thassall I know. Ya- Imsawry thawiyas izzall in use at presint. W I said Imsawry-they- n't-no-more-wiyas-at-p re s- Wazzat? Will I let ya- wennere’s wunnavvem Oh, sure, I'll write va numma ? s izz int. know free alette Henry William Hanemann. Brimisnt Sovpter (at Bunker Hill): What's the use of us working our heads off to win this battle, anyway? They won't print it in the history books, comicbooks.com