Life — December 8, 1927 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life So Help Me! USED to be as good as gold, Or practically that. My mother never had to scold Her precious little brat. And every evening at her knee I prayed for further purity. I wish that life could always stay As simple and as neat As in that enviab! Of toast and Cre And it could be that w By just eliminating men, Margaret Fishback. of Wheat. again Glossary of Motoring Terms URR: Word used to describe the wheeze made by your motor when it is not missing on more than six cylinders, with only an occasional Knock: Remark from the back seat or some other Boob: Any other driver, especially the one that cuts in ahead at a Traffic Light: The little green light that always turns red just be- fore you get to it, forcing you to apply the Emergency Brake: What wife always has on when she drives, to keep from running into a Fire Plug: Ornamental red post put up at the curb for the sole pur pose of ruining a perféctly good Parking Place: The vacant spot you never see till the other fellow slips into it, and for which you are still searching when an officer speaks to you about your Tail Light: What ten to turn on, and gives you a Ticket: Invitation to a formal re- ception at which you generally win 1 prize called Fine: Not so good but what the thoughts of it cause you to drive bit- terly-homeward antil halted by a Speed Cop: The fellow that says you were going fifty-one when you know darn well you were not exceed- ing the Speed Limit: All you can get out of the old can when you press down hard on the Accelerator: The little jigger your wife always steps on when she wants to stop the car. your u've forgot- Asia Kagowan. Revived Cant Sanpavrc, who goes about the country strumming a guitar and singing folk songs, likes to tell stories while de- veloping a vamp (musical term, not so cial). Two Chicago men, says Carl, died recently and met in the great beyond, said one of them, “heaven after all.” ‘but this isn’t heaven.” —New York World. | Measaze the right tobacco meansso much to him — give him | Old Briar | | IVE him Old Briar Tobacco and you will give him more real enjoyment and contentment than he has ever gotten out of his pipe before. This Chnstmas, many thousands of women will got almost as much pleasure from their gift of Old Briar Tobaccoas the men get themselves... When you sce his enjoyment, when you, yourself, enjoy the fragrance of the 6 Ola Briar ; TOBACCO THE BEST PIPE SMOKE EVER MADE!” smoke, when he tells you, as he will, that you've given him the best pipe tobacco he's ever smoked, your thoughtfulness will be more than repaid. It has been the life work of experts, with years of scientific knowledge in the art of mellowing and blending tobaccos, that has produced Old Briar. Generations of tobacco culture have gone into its per- fection, Its natural leaf—flavory, cool and slow-burning — has been developed and blended—and step by step perfected into the most satisfying tobacco ever made. Give him Old Briar Tobacco, this Christmas, His appreciation will be whole-hearted and sincere. The friendly fragrance of your gift and its good cheer will be enjoyed by him every day, Of all the Pleasures Man Enjoys Pipe Smoking Costs the Least IF THE NEAREST CIGAR STORE OR TOBACCONIST DOES NOT HAVE OLD BRIAR Tear out this ¢: you a mupply by prepaid Parcel Post at regular Dealer's prices | UNITED STATES TOBACCO COMPANY, RICHMOND, VA. comicbooks.com