Life — December 1, 1927 — page 75: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

overseas boys would like, he added, would be a contract that would keep the two princesses and Madame de la Marquise a-workin’ steady. After I'd got my Christmas list fairly well straightened out, came the question of delivery. Formerly, me an’ Tony made the rounds, per- sonal. We had a list so timed that we could make about twenty calls an’ deliver our presents by sundown. Now; ms our old friends 4 1-spreadin’ out, so to speak—magni- fied now into thirty-six couples— next y I suppose it'll double into seventy-two, an’ so on, ad infinitum, 1s Lawyer Cohen says. How I'm goin’ to get over all these trails on Christmas Day is somethin’ for me an’ Tony to think over. For instance, in view of recent changes, what am I a-goin’ to do when I get to Charlie Chaplin's The only thing I can think of is for me an” Tony to ride three times around the house, an’ heave our presents in a window, as I don't know what part of the house he is slowed to live in just now I've been in the habit of ridin’ up in’ hallooin’ folks out, callin’ the wife by her first name. At a lot of homes, the wife of last year has moved on, an’ likely as not, I'd call the wrong name now, an’ mebbe get shot at by strangers. So you see, I've got my troubles. In my own home, my little daughter, Tommy, aged six, has announced that the only present she wants for Christmas is Tony. An’ from the way they get along together, I reckon it would please that smart cowpony a heap, but it would leave me i, an’ I'm not used to that. I'm goin’ to send my old friend, Bill Hart, a six-shooter that'll never need re loadin’. The other day I found an old mustache cup that belonged to my uncle Walter, whose name should have been Walrus, an’ it's goin’ to Chester Conklin. I'm goin’ to send Will Rogers a coupl’a sets of red flannel underwear, to make him com- fortable in his air travels. My neighbor, Charlie Chaplin, is goin’ to get a nice cup, inscribed, “For a Good Boy,” an’ a copy of the Cali- fornia community property laws. It seems that Julius 1, first Bishop of Rome, is the bird who fixed December 25 as the date for Christmas, but the gent who missed his chance to go down great in his- tory with me was Pope Gregory XIII, who gave us our present cai- endar. He could just as well have made the new day he added in, Feb- ruary 29, the day for Christmas. If Pope Gregory had done that, he'd sure made a friend out of me an’ another vote for Al Smith. home? 3 \ \ Stultitious! Sc—S. B. or MENTHOL Ob! Quite You'll admit it’s silly (yes! that's what stultitious means) to go about without enough protection. Yet clothes aren't always enough! The delicate li f your throat needs to be specially guarded agains the danger of coughs 3 colds That's just what th thers’ Cough Drops do. They quickly soothe irritations, relieve hoarseness, ease and stop coughs. Your throat is cleared, refreshed, protected, MITH BROT COUGH DROPS FIELD FAR Giasses The Happy Gift for Christmas Give C-PARs—new and slips into v purse. Easy tee. By mail or st your dealer's 82 SSID. HIND T% HAMILTON poklet. any travel bun CHARLES A. WEIN, BERMUDA New York Otic, The Spar Travel, Barwa a Heb Keewse, New York i] Ir is undoubtedly true that its in- gratiating service and superlative culsine are responsible in large measure for the popularity of THE ROOSEVELT among discerning folk. It is cqually true that THE ROOSEVELT dispenses such hos- pitality without the penalty of 1100 Rooms - Single or En Suites BEN BERNIE J his Roosevelt Orchestra The ROOSEVELT NEW YORK Epwarp Cunton FocG Managing Director comicbooks.com