Life — December 1, 1927 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ij » 3 a iow, rebai gis Be wt Sate mer in peaty eae ee \ — OR , SS av Yy By Baird Leonard November “ great controversy this morning with Oth my husband, poor wretch, on the sub- ject of time, and I did threaten him with divorce if he do not leave off setting an alarm for an outrageously early hour and then failing to heed its summons, for it were bad enough to be so unduly roused from slumber at the break of day to good purpose, but to find him still dozing at eight- thirty or nine does try both my patience and philos- ophy. Moreover, I have discovered that he does set back his watch at eventide on occasions when we are dining out, so that, having protested successfully that the household clocks are fast, I may not urge him to hasterl his dressing, with the result that we have been from fifteen to twenty minutes late several times this season, The journals full of election news, of no interest or importance as it does seem to me, it being nought in my life whether or not there is a road up Whiteface Mountain, for instance, but had the proposition to put traffic lights along Lexington Avenue been up for decision, I should have taken to the soapbox at the outset of the campaign. up, regretful that the weather is cold enough to require rubbing my arms with glycerine after my bath, but resolved this season to be regular about it, so that I may look always cool and Fy me ottled as though Ih over a stove all da Thento | the shops with Grace, my sempstress, to choose me ma- terial for a black faille frock, nor could I escape without purchasing eighteen yards of underwear crépe, three large silk flowers, a set of liqueur glasses, and God knows what else that I do not need, but In Gratitude ABISS on the sidewalk, I find, | Is too public, by far, | While the cold winter's wind Ruins park bench or car: Yet from lips that are kind I take sustenance, always, And bless the great mind That invented dark hallways. Stephen Hoff, Jr. | mayhap it will be pleasant, when I am picking up stitches on the poorhouse porch, to look back upon at the a so- the good times I had when I was solvent bank. Reading this night in “Move called “Society” novel by E. Pettit, I did come upon this piece of dialogue: “Who are ‘the ple’?” “The people you used to know Over, wrong peo November Up betime s, and at C Dristmas list veing determinec to have 10th everything signed and sealed, if not delivered, by Thanksgiving, albeit at present I could set down a gift against « and that a tea-strainer for Cora Scovil, forasmuch as somebody did knock her old one off the balustrade around her penthouse apartment did not even seck to retrieve it after its trip of fourteen storeys to the street. It may, indeed, be more blessed to give than to receive, but it is decidedly more difficult. Greatly depressed at hearing from my servant Virgie that the rushes have become loosened in the seat of one of our old ladder-back at the moment but bid her glue them down as best she could and set the thing in a corner. To luncheon at an inn with Effie Goings, and the scal lops were the finest that ever I ate in my life, so, being unable to eat all of my portion, I did request the waiter to wrap up the remainder for me to carry home that I might show our Katie how they were prepared, and I am sure the fellow thought me daft. All the afternoon gone in sorting boxes the scrapbook I am contemplating, and I did y me at the age of eight and fy penny goes back to Grand am to all sorts of unwelcome I did also Come upon a number of sentimental communica tions saved from the days my youth, and a perusal of year ly one name, and she chairs, but I could do nought or across a will wrote ning a clause, * which did move $ animadversions on my financial operations them convinced me more than ever that the only love letters which do not sound positively imbecile are the ones written to oneself. To the play! after dinner to see ‘ Springboard,” a piece which should so justifiably ended with the that Sam, at that clusion, did automatically gather up his hat have second act act's con ind coat and make ready to depart | Chronologically | Confused WILLIS: What did that absent-minded professor give his children for Christ- mas? | Gituis: An Easter lily, a package of firecrackers, and some April-fool candy. comicbooks.com