Life, 1927-12-01 · page 16 of 80
Life — December 1, 1927 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: 1. **"Meditation in a Drug Store"** - A poem by C. Lee Quong about a man agonizing over a ten-dollar bill, struggling to afford chewing gum, and wishing he'd worn suspenders instead (implying financial hardship). 2. **"The Records Fall"** - A humorous article documenting children's destruction records across American cities. It lists instances of kids breaking toys and household items with remarkable speed—apparently a notable enough trend to warrant coverage, suggesting post-WWI economic prosperity and abundance of consumer goods. 3. **"How to Get Up in the Morning"** - Comedic advice by Herman Fag Jr. offering various tactics for morning routines. The main image shows a vintage Caron Corp. perfume bottle, functioning as product advertising rather than editorial cartooning.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CARON CORP., 389 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK How to Get Up in the Morning ONSIDER bounding out of bed. Reconsider it. Decide definitely that bounding is out of the question. Adopt reconnoitering tactics. Thrust out left foot with extreme caution, Count one, two, three—go! Demand a recount, Withdraw foot for the good of all concerned, Wish there were tors to close the windows. Stick head up breathe outward to test temperature. Suffer severe shock at the sight of hu, Notice how nice and warm you are with head > cloud of vapor. covered. Wish you could always stay that way. Recall winning large pot last evening. Glow. Re- call red-ink balance at the end of the e glowing. Re- member that something was to hap- pen to-da n't think what. Hope it is something lovely. Search mind expectantly. Find it is dentist's ap- pointment at 9:45. Say a bad word. Begin counting one-two-three, pre- paratory to taking off. Fall asleep on the stroke of twenty-seven. Re- main thus... Heman Fay, Jr. session. ( read Life regularly — EvERY week! Meditation in a Drug Store ARESSINGLY He gazed At the ten-dollar bill; With difficulty he forced himself To buy a package of gum... Wrig- le ; The druggist gave him nine silver dollars And ninety-five cents in change. Longingly he thought of the bill: He wished that he had worn sus- penders, C. Lee Quong. The Records Fall LL previous records seem sure to fall th ar as reports of al- most unbelievably speedy destruc- tion of Christmas toys pour in. At- testation of official records must wait upon review by the National Board's Contest Committee, but unofficially the hanging-up of new records in every department appears inevitable. Reports from field men tell the stor: From our San Francisco represent- ative—"“Record for breaking up rocking-horse broken by Willie Jen kins, this city, who had his all to pieces three minutes, nine and four- fifths seconds after he was given it. Father speechless with pride.” From Chicago—Johnny Jones, Evanston, Illinois, completely de- molished his toy train in six minutes, thirty-one seconds flat, Isn't this a record?” It would seem so. From Dallas—“Edgar Smith nine, this city, lost seventeen pi of his toy building set in two hours, ten and one-half minutes. He then attacked his bicycle and had it in good shape for heavy repairs in four minutes flat.” he girls, too, are making a good showing, as this wire indicates— “Philadelphia in frenzy of pride stop Six year old Mary Wilkes this city broke every single dish in toy china set in just three seconds less than two minutes stop” And this from Norfolk—Mail- ing to-day duly sworn affidavit that little Susie Simpson, Suffolk, re- moved head from her unbreakable doll in one minute, sixteen seconds. Not bad, eh?” John C. Emery. Really! MITH: Who is that lady we just \* heard call her little boy “Percy Algernon”? Jones: That's Mrs. Arthur Ches- ley Kennington, President of the local branch of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. comicbooks.com