Life — September 22, 1927 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

=i reserved for the producers. Eddic’s got it fixed so they can talk an’ their hands won't annoy adjoinin’ guests. The other day, a waiter showed me a table cloth where three of these birds had lunched. I don’t like to mention names, but a lot of people in the pic- ture industry might nize “em if I called ‘em Izzy, Waz-he and Haz-he. The table cloth was cov- ered with lead-pencil figures in sums so big that they reached from the soup plates over to the pepper and salt cellars. Durin’ lunch, these fig- urin’ genis had built four table-cloth studios table-cloth pic- tures that made “The King of Kings” and “Seventh Heaven" look like two-reelers an’ had the cost esti- mated down to a dime—a thin dime at that. Eddie Brandstatter tells me that next week he’s a-goin’ to put a couple of addin’ machines along- side the producers’ table with a girl to operate ‘em, thereby a-savin’ him- self extra laundry bills. “Give me half a portion of Clara Bow, a coupl'a slices of Margaret Livingston, with a dish of Claire Windsor on the side and a plate of Mary Pickford cooked rare,” was the order I heard one of the Mont- martre regular boarders give in the od,” said an old lady at the -jumpin’ from her chair, “the place is full of cannibals—let’s get out of here—nobody’s safe.” The purse she left behind showed the old and her sister had a_ postoffice address somewhere along R. F. D. Route No. 4, Ft. Scott, Kansas. If she hadn't been in such a hurry, Ud have explained that a lot of the pic- ture girls, havin’ an eye on publicity, have induced Eddie Brandstatter and Paul, the obsequious maitre @hétel—the last three words bor- rowed from Odd MeIntyre—to name ious salads and other dishes after ‘em and they're so printed on the menus. All the — cannibal-talkin’ boarder wanted was some Romaine alad, some hot spiced mutton, extra creamed mashed potatoes an’ cold roast beef with an oil dressin’, Nothin’ could be fairer or more simple. vi A! OT of women give lunches in the Montmartre. Sometimes you'll see two an’ three day. TI swap guests, thereby gettin’ all the latest) gossip and missin’ nothin’. Recently I noticed that on these lunch party days there's always a arties on the same t's se rh hostess can Life ‘The Montmartre of Hollywood (Continued from page 10) couple of extra trombones and an added saxophone or two in the or- chestra, Alphonse Kelly slipped me the information that a couple of well- to-do Los Angeles women pay spe- cial for 'em and get a table near the lunch party. Because of the aug- mented orchestra, the — luncheon guests have to holler to be heard an’ the two smart, trombone-hirin’ gals hear the best an’ latest of the Holly- wood dirt dished at a fair price. Comin’ out of the Montmartre the other night I stumbled against a long pile of dirt. I thought it was just the sweepin’s from Eddie’s pl ' then I found it was a new ge trench the city is a-puttin’ in. If Eddie Brandstatter could get a few of the dirt-spre id grave- diggers I hear a-o ind his place to go East an’ work, Con- gressman Hull could get his canal from the Great Lakes to the Gulf dug an’ finished by fall, an’ at a cost of not more'n fifteen cents a yard. The greatest dietitian in all Hol- lywood is this same Eddie Brand- statter. He has made a study of fleshmakin’ and fleshtakin’ foods. If the motion picture girls who are n’ a lot of money to these re- sharks would consult Eddie, s-pipe Tom Mix is going to make frequent personal appearances in Lire from now on. He has been “nosin’ around” in Hollywood — prin- cipally at the social func- tions in that high-hatted community — and the re- sults of his investigations will be set forth in his characteristically bo 1d, In the opinion of many high-brow critics, ‘Tom Mix is the most im- portant literary discovery of this decade. What is more, he writes his own stuff. His low-down on Hol- Iywood life’ will be well worth reading. QUIN TOREIAAL PRINTING CORPORATION, BROOKLYN NEW YORE he'd save ‘em a lot of money. Ed- die has a flock of calories and vita- mines up in the Montmartre so well trained that he calls ‘em by their first names and they do whatever he tells ‘em. Eddie can prepare a salad that'll take two pounds off on a Tues- day and = mak: other that'll put three pounds on by 4 pM. on a Wednesday. He can look at a lot of his young women customers an’ tell to an ounce what 1 weigh a from Sunda ticed that to the ilk and pineapple sys- these cracke tem until you invite one of ‘em to eat with you and then she starts where it says “Menu” an’ stops where it “Tea, coffee an’ milk.” A LOT of picture folks lunch at Eddie's incostume. ‘That is,they rush from the studio to the Mont- martre without removin’ their make- up or changin’ clothes. The first day my wife was away an’ I nosed in the place, I saw a well-known young sereen ‘chief come in with a trim- lookin’ parlor maid. I thought meb- be he was a-good-timin’ the girl on her day off, to show his appreciation of the fine work she was a-doin’ in his household an’ that, also, it might be t his wife had started for Paris. I was about to run over to my house in Beverly Hills an’ get s maid, who is a pretty er herself, an’ show my ap- tion, but just then the maid in the Montmartre nodded at me, and I saw it was one of my former leadin’ ladies. There's a dancing floor out in the center of the Montmartre. It has a draped canopy of gold cloth, car- ryin’ out the idea, I suppose, of a desert sheik’s tent. It’s funny to watch the boys and girls when they get under it. The young feller un- consciously gets the notion that he’s ahara Arab an’ the girl closes nd imagines she is onc of sheik’s eighteen 1 tell me it’s a great sensa- tion; anyway, the idea is great. I like the Montmartre. I like Ed- die; I like Paul, Alphonse Kelly and the food. And, as I said, there’s more comin’s and goin’s, doin’s and not doin’s around the Montmartre than any other place in Hollywood. I can think of only one improve the place an’ give it more of a romantic flavor—hire Aimé ple McPherson as hostess. S'long—until I nose around some more, Onan comicbooks.com