Life — September 1, 1927 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Li How They Stand this issue goes to press the comparative standing of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in all departments is As 1s follows: RP PO PRP OMT) BCJ FAM RUN SM Roti 198 S38 Lb b 124 GeuniG 38 497 15 20 8 1 2 *HR—home runs; RP. ravure pictures; PO—public orations; PBP—y babies fondled; MT—tiscellaneous testi monials; BCJ—t y contests judged; FAM—fore n hassadors met; RHN—race-horse namesakes: SM—Swedish massages. Tupper Greenwald. Boob'’s Dictionary NEWSPAPER EXTRA—A edition newspaper made necessary by an event of unusual importance. Office Holder Prison Sentence—Pronouncement by the Court stating the period of time a convicted criminal will spend in confinement. special of a Public servant Dance—Social function at which those attending dance. Engagement—Agreement or understanding between two persons indicating their intent to marry. Liquor Raid—Surprise attack by Prohibition officers on an establishment where intoxicants sold, in the effort to eliminate such trattic. Lurury are Something one can do without. Telephone Operator—An employee who connects the calling instrument with the one called Inside Tip—Inside tip WG. HW. THE TAXIDERMIST TAKES A DAY OFF, 23 Le “UST BEIWEEN US GIRL | = => S > y dear, I'm on the VERGE of colLAPSE—I 4Y2 mean I'm so MAD I could gargle BUTtermilk at this point because I mean MOTHer inSISTed on my being PSYCHED—ean you BEAR it? I mean have you ever in your entire LIFE heard of ANYthing so POSitively perVERTed? Well, ANYways, my dear, simply EVerybody has the YEN for this psychoan at this point and I mean MOTHer is simply GA-ga on the subject and simply NOTHing would DO but for me to go and get PSYCHED because IT mean MOTHer said she was CERtain I was kind of MENtally unSTRUNG or something because she said I was so sort of exCITable and kept sort of exAGgerating everything because she said I was practically Always talking in suPERlatives—can you BEAR it, my dear? Well, ANYways, it was SIMply KILLing because I mean this odd SOUL who PSYCHED me_ honestly looked like NOTHing HUman, my dear, and I mean he sort of TOLD me to look at all these OBjects on this odd TAble effect and after I had sort of GAZED upon them FIXedly for about five MINutes he told me to look at HIM and tell him what was on the TAble. Well, HONestly, my dear, 1 NEARIy had hysTERics because the MINute [ looked at HIM I couldn't remember a THING that was on this TAble because I mean what would be the POINT, ANYways? But I was SIMply FUrious because this FOUL DOCtor sort of made a rePORT after he had PSYCHED me and MOTHer was practically ready to ROLL over and BUTter herself with disMAY b cause this rePORT thing said that my re- ACtions to this TEST were those of a child of SIX—can you BEAR it? I mean I HONestly think he just made a POIson- ous report like that because I would not let him get FRESH with me or anythi dear—I mean I ACtually DO! Lloyd Mayer. ALysis contrivance my Not Necessary NEWRICH: Will daughter need many clothes at your school? Mé&s my Principat Not at madam; our school is strictly modern or Seminary: all, comicbooks.com