Life — July 7, 1927 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OW look. That's what always for a couple of hours, and they go and have another day on you. Haven't they had enough? k at That's to wake up and see a lot , they couldn't send too many rainy days to please me. I'm a »ol for rain. They know that. That's why it’s sunny. And there's that tree again as a fool. If there's thing I hate the sight of in the morning, it's a tree. I wouldn't give you a nickel for the Black Forest, before lunch. “I think that I shall never sec lovely as a Well, this boy, every morning of your life That tree ought to be cut down; it's an eyesore, that tree is. I'm going to do something about that tree. Write to the Department of Plant and Structures, or something. Why isn't it Plants and Structures? What are they trying to do, drive a person crazy? All right, just for that, I won't write to them. That tree can stand there till it’s struck by lightning, for all I care. Ill show them. I'm not going to worry eyes it—all sunny and everything a fine thir of sunshine. Green a poem that so? pu just ought to have to see tree”—oh, is about any Department of Plant and Structures. A lot any of Plant and Structures ever did for me, God, that makes a person first thing in the morning. Depart- ment of Plant and Structures! V HAT Twenty minutes to three, ina pig's eye! That was yesterday. Oh, my watch has stopped. Maybe if I shook it. No, that doesn't do any good. Maybe if I hit it against the bed a little. No, that dents the headboard. Maybe it wants wind ing. Oh, that’s what it wanted, it wanted winding. Oh, all it needed was just a few little winds, and it starts right off. Mother's littl soldier, that’s what it is. And there I was, shaking the slats out of it, and then socking it against the bed. I'm nothing but a big bully. That's all I am. It’s no wonder nobody likes me. could. Knocking the tripe out of « poor little watch! Those dents in Department sore, time is it, anyway? I don't see how anybody Life Mornin & => By Dorothy Parker the headboard will be a reproach to me all my life. I don't suppose they can ever be fixed. I don’t sup- pose even the Department of Plant and Structures could do anything about them. Ah, the Department of Plant and couldn't do anything about anything! Honestly, a hasn't any heart to get up and dress and go out in a city with a Department of Plant in it. I guess I'll I guess I'll never Structures person and Structures just stay in bed. get up any more. 7OU could save yourself a terri- ble lot of trouble, just by never getting out of bed. You'd never have to go to anything like that dinner last night. [ knew there was some thing terrible to remember when I woke up—that dinner last night. 1 knew my place at the table would be next toa guy like that. I could have told you that, day before yes terd. always get sat next to some re that tells me the mgs of old Provence That's my life. Oh, let him sit next to Mrs. Parker—she She's had her day people in this city alone, and I draw y that has to talk about the folk old) Provence. It) never I bet if [sat next to Lind it dinner, he'd tell me about f old Provence. It must be something about me. I must have one of those folk-song faces The Girl with the Provencal Pan, I'd be better off staying in bed Nobody would care if I ever got about won't mind Seven million bergh the folk-songs up again or not would even know the difference I could have died in the night, just as well Nobody as not. for all anybody cares is Mrs. Parker dead? Well, well. Here it is practically the mid dle of the soul in this world has called well, morning, and not one single up to find out whether I died in the Nobody gives a dann. Not even the Department of Plant and Structures. Yes, and I don't give a damn about the Department of Plant ind Structures, either! night. I BET that folk-song guy works for the Department of Plant and Structures. I bet the Depart- Oh, * ment of Plant and Structures is all full of people sitti around talking about the folk-songs of old Provence, while the city wrack That 2 terrible don't suppose he thought I A person doesn't have , listening to a lecture on I bet 1 said, “Oh, they be simply enchanting!" three What must and y. I was so ruin. was good cither much s hundred and eighty-five times. Oh, they You can’t say else can you say? be perfectly lousy that. You have to Charm, you have to have have manners. Oh, they When you can say it without shooting your called I'm the heiress of the ages. That's what must be simply enchanting lunch, it’s civilization T am. But that doesn’t know it was civilization. He folk-song specialist He didn't know it thought I was good time. Nobody under- stands me. Nobody tries. I've got depths that will probably never be Here I am, all full of depths, and nobody gives a whoop Not even a guy that works for the Department of Plant and Structures Anybody that would work for the Department of Plant and Structures couldn't understand anything He looked pretty puzzled when I kissed that cab-horse on the home. [ bet he hasn't figured that out yet. T don't care having a plumbed. way what conclu and his De Structures! sions he comes to. He partment of Plant and \ fine crowd they are 1 sweet horse, stand tired and every was. I liked I'd kiss TH AT was ing there so thing. Pete, that horse; that horse That's the way stories about you get his name I like him now again if T ever saw him. around, Probably it’s all over town by now. Oh, did you hear Mrs. Parker kissing the ea People that never heard of me and about horse? never saw a horse probably know all about it, by this time. T bet by now they're Atlantic City with that horse. I don't care I don't care what they say about me Only I shouldn't like that horse going around thinking he had to marry me. (Continued on page 32) saying I went to to have comicbooks.com