Life, 1927-06-30 · page 6 of 35
Life — June 30, 1927 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine satirizes American history through mock-serious cartoons. The top illustration mocks colonial encounters—two British soldiers dismiss a Chinese merchant as a "terrible dump," mocking cultural superiority attitudes. The text below parodies history textbooks with deliberately absurd claims: America was "discovered" by drunk Dutchmen, George Washington became president solely to avoid work, and Francis Scott Key sold his poem for pennies while George M. Cohan profited enormously. The bottom cartoon shows De Soto "discovering" the Mississippi River while Native Americans (labeled "injuns") ask if he's seen anything of a Mississippi River—a joke about European "discovery" of lands already known to indigenous peoples. The satire targets pretentious historical narratives and their erasure of prior inhabitants and non-European perspectives.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
First Leatherneck (in Shanghai): TERRIBLE DUMP, AIN'T IT? Second Devil-Dog: yeu—you can’t EVEN PICK UP A PLATE OF CHOP-SUEY IN THE WHOLE TOWN. From a Modern Child’s Modern History Book MERICA was really discovered around A, D. 1000 by some drunken Norsemen who stole a ship and went off on a joy ride. They landed on the coast of New England, and after trying to get friendly with the natives, they discovered that they had carried the joke too far. “8 # George Washington was a keen politician and started the War of the Revolution against Great Britain just so that he could be made Presi- dent of the United States. * * # The United States bought Louisi- ana from Napoleon for fifteen mil- lion dollars and then, for fifty thousand franes, fixed the French people to send Napoleon to St. Helena so he couldn't cash the check. THE PRoPosep B s EcTion whe VARD MISSISSIPP LEVEE RIVER Francis Scott Key got eighty-nine cents for writing “The Star-Span- gled Banner,” which was published under George M. Cohan’s name, and he got ten million dollars for it. ** © President Monroe wrote and en- forced the Monroe Doctrine just so he could get 150,000 free cases of South American rum, of which he was very fond. * * # Abraham Lincoln was very fond of telling stories in Negro dialect, but the people in the South insisted that only people from the South should be permitted to tell stories in Negro dialect. This brought on the Civil War. * * ® General Grant was paid five hun- dred thousand dollars a year by the United Cigar Stores always to ap- pear with one of their cigars in his mouth. He later used this money to buy the presidency of the United States. * 8 & Germany promised the United States Government two billion dol- lars if it would stay out of the war. The United States waited three years for Germany to come across and then our brave boys did. Henry William Hanemann. Instantaneous Favor H E: Hurray, I’m popular at last! Sue: Why, what's happened? He: I’ve forgotten how to play the saxophone. HAVE YOU INJUNS SEEN ANYTHING OF A MISSI- SsiPPl RIVER AROUND HERE ? Our History. Chap. II DE SOTO DISCOVERS THE MISSISSIPPI, DARN IT! comicbooks.com ki