Life — June 16, 1927 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“NAY dear, I'm all-of-a-DOOdah—I mean I’m ACtu- ally so MAD I could GARgle BUTtermilk at this point because DID you hear about this SEX ques- tionnaire that these FOUL girls at SMITH thought UP? I mean did you ACtually ever KNOW of anything more UTterly perVERTed? HONestly, my dear, it makes me so MAD I could practicably ROLL over and BUTter myself with FUry because I ACtually think that GIRLS who are at COLlege and all should sort of be aBOVE that kind of thing, do you know what I MEAN? Because I HONestly think it is a SIMply POIsonous iDEA for them to have got UP this SEX questionnaire effect because it is just things like THAT which sort of START all this VILE CRITicism of GIRLS that you hear all the entire time NOWadays, my dear, because I mean there are simply HEAPS of POIsonous SCANdal mongrels who are just WAITing for a CHANCE to make a lot of obNOXious incinerA- tions about the modern GIRL, do you know what I MEAN? Well, my dear, I think it just SHOWS you that these COLlege girls who think they are so HOT and all, because they are STUDying a lot of HIGH- brow stuff in COLlege and everything, are REAlly awfully sort of LOW-minded and VULgar be- cause I ACtually think it is disGUSTing to let your MIND sort of RUN on things like SEX— I mean I ACtually DO! But ANyways, my dear, I am honestly all hot and BOTHered about this FOUL questionNAIRE they got UP because I mean in the PAper where I READ about it and everything it didn’t say a WORD about what was IN it—can you BEAR it, my dear? I mean the only interESTing PART of the whole THING was left OUT, which I HONestly think TOO inDEcent—I mean I ACtually DO!” Lloyd Mayer. The First Husband H®LLYwoop MATRON (to daughter): Now that you've grown up, my dear, you ought to be looking around for some nice man to be divorced from. BECAUSE she loved nature, a thirteen-year- old girl was left a $1,000,000 legacy by Dr. E. E. Tull. In case there are any more Dr, Lost < HERE am I?” she said feebly, looking around in bewilderment. The group of people standing about seemed a mere mass of white, frightened faces, She looked scarchingly from one face to another, but never seemed to find the answer she craved. Some closed their eyes as though ex- pecting the worst. “Where am 1?” she whis- pered again un- certainly, Then some one spoke. “Why, you're your son FAILED TO GET HIS DEGREE? over here in this “yup; rLUNKED HIS SCREEN Test.” corner next to Kitty, but I'd hardly know it was you. Gosh, these flash- ” light photos sure arc terrible! M. M. WW. Now It Can Be Told SOME picture plots appear to us obscure; ‘7 Attempts to plumb them leave us in a daze. The reason isn’t far to seek, I’m sure: They're viewed through thick, impenetrable Hays. WHAT Bo You KNow! SHES FROM (NDIANAROLIC! One of Life’s Large Moments Tulls around, we hereby file notice that we WHEN YOU ARE IN SOME DISTANT CITY AND YOU SEE A COAT LABEL consider buttercups and cowslips and such FROM YouR OWN HOME TOWN IN THE THEATRE SEAT IN FRONT things something swell. OF You. comicbooks.com