Life — May 19, 1927 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN EARLY AMERICAN ADVERTISING RUSE The Equestrian: THE BRITISit ARE comin! “T TELL YA THE BRITISH ARE cominG!” Tabloid History LYMOUTH, Mass., Aug. 16, 1622—This is the story of the fighter, the writer and the maid-at- arms. But in whose arms? Not those of grizzled old Capt. Miles (“Rough and Ready Standish, the pride of Massachusetts Bay Colony and the scourge of the pesky redskins. But those of young John Alden, brilliant young writer, whose lit- erary creations under the pseudonym of rtemus Billings” are well known to magazine editors, some having been almost seriously consid- ercd for acceptance. And the girl? None other than the charming Priscilla Mullens, sixteen and pretty, one of last scason’s buds and the “Miss Ply- mouth” of the 1620 Beauty Contest. (Nore: Early last April Roger Wil- liams, Jr., son of the noted Roger Williams, Sr., announced his engage- ment to Miss Mullens, a state- ment which she immediately charac- terized as ‘“‘a lot of wampum.” The Life resulting scandal was fully reported in this newspaper, a limited number of copies being still obtainable.) The story of the romance was de- tailed to Your Correspondent by young Mrs. Alden, whom he found in pretty confusion at the Alden apartment, No. 932-A East May- flower Strect. “Maybe I’ve made a sucker out of myself, but I’m laying ten to one I didn't,” said the dark-tressed little matron, blushing rosily. “I suppose in the beginning I fell for Miles’s (‘Old Hickory’s’) uniform. You sce, he’s kind of fat and I figured he must be at least a major. But I found out he'd deceived me. Any- way, he was always away fighting the varmints or somebody and I de- “THE BRITISH ING!” ARE COM- cided a bird in the hand is worth two in the bushes. No girl wants a guy who comes in at three in the morning and pulls the old line about having been to a scalping party. “But it was the limit when he sent Jack around to date me up. I just said, ‘Act your age, Jack,’ ‘and, well, we got 1 d. Miles (‘Stonewall’) Standish is out of the picture.” “Where is your husband now?” she was asked. “I suppose he’s up at the post office buying more stamps,” she re- plied a bit wearily. “He generally 1s. Capt. “Railsplitter” Standish was located just before leaving for the vast Indian territory bounded by Newtonville, Auburndale, the South Framingham Light & Power Station and the New York, New Haven & Hartford tracks, “I'm only a rough soldier and won't say a word,” he declared. “I will say, however, that I'll have that guy’s g—ts. I have in- structed my lawyers to bring suit for £50,000 against him for aliena- tion of affections and for £808 6s 2d against her for breach of promise. Not for nothing do they call me ‘The Little Corporal’.” Tip Bliss, Naturally! as HY the coolness between Marcella and Roderick?” “Well, my dear, he’s been devot- ing himself to her for months—lav- ishing flowers on her, taking her everywhere and giving nobody else any time—so, naturally, she began to resent it.” THE gold-digger isn’t so much concerned with keeping her wits about her as she is her nit-wits. “THERE’S A WOMAN UNDRESSING BY AN OPEN WINDOW UP sTREET! Chorus: WHERE?!? comicbooks.com