Life, 1927-04-28 · page 5 of 35
Life — April 28, 1927 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satire: **"Life" poem** (top right): A mock prayer to "Our Lady of Pain" by a character named Simonetta, listing ailments—insomnia, hunger, sick family members, fever, mumps—and asking the goddess to "bless you, not curse." It's satirical commentary on urban hardship and suffering. **"If They Keep on Getting Bigger and Better"** (left): Reports on Quincy L. Simpson, a theater usher lost during construction at the Mammoth Motion Picture Palace. The satire mocks how massive movie palaces had become—so enormous that workers could disappear unnoticed. **"Echoes of the Chicago Election"** (bottom): Political satire about Chicago voting, contrasting two campaign slogans. It critiques the city's machine politics and apparent violence ("don't shoot till you see the crosses on their ballots"). The bottom cartoon illustrates a social scene with the caption "Is she generous? I'll say so! Why, she'd give a friend the powder off her back"—likely mocking superficial society women.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life Our Lady of Pain O GODDESS of sorrow and weeping, Admit me at once to your brood; Ten nights have I lain without sleeping, Ten days have I gone without food. Dolores I talk to, none other: Regard in my throat the hard lumps. My sister is fevered; my brother Is down with the mumps; My mother is coughing and sneezing; My father’s back teeth are at war; Myself, I am groaning and wheezing, My muscles are aching and sore. I trust that my woes make me kin. Burn My flesh!—I shall bless you, not curse. For pain, as I've seen from A. Swinburne, Breeds exquisite verse. TELLING IT TO THE MARINES, Simonetta, If They Keep on Getting Bigger and Echoes of the Chicago Election Better CAMPAIGN Slogan—“Now is the time for all good W ITH the finding to-day of Quincy L. Simpson, of marksmen to or to the aid 7 the party. 006 19 Cantaffordem Road, The Bronx, by one of the parties searching for him, a tragedy was narrowly averted. As previously reported in the papers, Mr. Simp- son, while attending the opening of the new Mammoth Motion Picture Palace, became entangled in the thick growth of ushers in the lobby and lost his way. Noth- ing was heard of him until | yesterday, when he came upon a phone which had i evidently been used by work- i men while the theatre was un- der construction. He immedi- ately telephoned his wife, in- forming her that he thought he was somewhere in the vicinity of the pipe organ, as a faint volume of sound came to his cars. Dogs carrying food and drink were dis- patched, and it is to these faithful animals that Mr. Simpson owes his life. Mr. Simpson, who has the reputation of being very wealthy, states that he will endeavor to have a law passed compelling motion picture houses to cut down every other usher in order that patrons may see where they are going. J. F.F. First Poritician: Are you going to vote to-morrow? Srconp Yeao: Oh, I guess I'll cast a bullet or two. * * * For the Chicago voters, it was a choice between the Republican machine and the Republican machine guns. * * * Another Campaign Slogan—‘Don't shoot till you see the crosses on their ballots.” H. H. Daniel. More to the Point HE BARBER (conversa- tionally): Married? Tne Frapper (absently): “4s sHE GENEROUS?” Shingle. “LL say so! WHY, SHE’D GIVE A FRIEND THE POWDER OFF HER BACK,” comicbooks.com