Life, 1927-04-14 · page 11 of 38
Life — April 14, 1927 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical pieces about Christopher Columbus and early exploration. The main article, "Tabloid History of America," presents a humorous fictional dispute over Columbus's romantic involvement with "Belle," supposedly a girl in Cadiz. King Ferdinand allegedly objects, hiring lawyers to discredit the relationship and protect his investment in Columbus's voyage. The satire mocks sensationalist tabloid journalism by treating historical figures as gossip subjects. It ridicules how reputations—particularly women's—were controlled by powerful men like Ferdinand, and suggests Columbus's expedition was partly motivated by scandal management rather than pure exploration. The accompanying illustrations show a schoolteacher giving moral lessons and Columbus at sea, reinforcing the contrast between historical mythology and satirical reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Li Tabloid History of America CHRIS IN HEART TANGLE? “Belle Just Good Friend,”” Avers Genoan Sheik, as Race’s Eve Dawns By Tip Bliss, Our Own Spanish Correspondent ADIZ, Aug. 8, 1492.—“Belle?” asked Christopher Columbus in apparent surprise. “‘Why, she’s just a sweet, simple girl friend of mine. It’s ridiculous to link our names together!” But King Ferdinand thinks otherwise. “All I have to say,” he stated gruffly, “is that the whole business looks phooey to me. My wife hocking her jewels to help out this slick-haired sailor. You know the reputation sailors have. The matter is in the hands of my attorneys, Morganstern & Blum, No. 355 Piazzo del Rio.” And what of Isabella herself, the pretty little dark- haired sefiora, scarce eighteen summers of age, who weeps bitterly when crowds point her out on the streets and who is just beginning to re- alize the price that must be Doctor: t HAVE CALLED ABOUT TEN TIMES FOR THIS BILL, Short: you ALWAYS WERE NOTED FOR MAKING TOO MANY UNNECESSARY VISITS. paid by the girl who follows the mandates of her heart rather than her brain? “Of e-course, I pawned the j-jew- els to help Chris out,” she sobbed. “Nobody but an old m-meanie would think anything of that. B-but F-ferd is so insanely jealous! He w-wor- ships the ground I walk on and sometimes it gets t-terribly uncom- fortable. But I don’t see what kick he’s got coming. He ain't paid the last instalment on them, anyway.” Aboard the Santa Maria Capt. Columbus was inclined to make light of the whole incident. “It's just a low-down plot to dis- credit me and break my nerve,” he said flatly. “Why couldn’t my ene- TIES SHOULD YOU ASK GOD TO GIVE YOU AS YOU GROW UP? TRUTH, HONESTY AND WHAT ELSE? Wise Child: saves resistance. mies have pulled this stuff a couple years ago instead of waiting till I'm starting off to discover America? There's crooked money back of this, you'll see. It’s gamblers’ work and I could name the parties, too, if I felt like it. They know the Duke of Veragua has put up 50,000 pesos for the first unmarried man to discover America and they want to be in on it.” “How about that picture of you and Isabella taken last summer to- gether at Seville?” he was asked. “That's a laugh!” chuckled the handsome mariner. “Belle was down visiting some cousins or something and I just ran into her. That's all.” The Santa Maria will be accom- panied on the voyage to the hitherto unsuspected America by the relief boats, Pinta and Nifia. Coffee and orange juice will be supplied at reg- ular intervals. Columbus said he had not made up his mind whether to discover North or South America first. A Neat Job “GMITH is suing the railroad com- pany for theft.” “What did he lose?” “One of their locomotives lifted the spare tire off the back of his car.” THE war in China will never get much publicity here until God gets on one side or the other. comicbooks.com