Life — April 7, 1927 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Foolis “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” Sailor's Wife: wat, you poN’r FEEL SAFE? I ALWAYS THOUGHT YoU SAILORS WERE USED TO BEING UP ALOFT. Sailor: ’rar, DON’T YOU FORGET I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ON A SUBMARINE. —A.C. Barrett, in The Passing Show (London). Home Again Nowe of the recent stories about the young runaway girls can compare with the old one about the little boy who walked away from home for about an hour, felt lonesome, and walked back into the room where his parents, who hadn't even missed him, were sitting. “Well,” he said, “I see you've got the same old cat."—New York World. Hands Off the Comet! A ramovs comet will come within only 2,000,000 miles of the earth the latter part of June. Some mother is certain to say to her five-year-old, who wants to go out in the yard and look at it: “Now, Junior, be careful and don't stand too close."—Florida Times-Union. A contemporary describes betting as a means of getting something for noth- ing. Experience teaches us that it is usually a method of getting nothing for something.— Punch. Rerontrr: You certainly have had a most interesting life. Now, what do you remember as the happiest moment? Centenantan: It bain't come yet! —London Opinion. “ERERING...RRING. 66 RING... “MELLO, 18 THAT YOU, JOMN DEAR?... The First $3,000,000 the Hardest Conxexivs Vanpensttt, Jn. says it's hard to be a rich man’s son. We thought Cornelius’s trouble was to be a rich man’s rich son.—Arkansas Gazette, — First Soviet Minister: uzxp ura ROUBLE, FUNGUSKI. Second Soviet Minister: SEARCH ME, : WISIL WE HAD SOME OF THE MONEY WITH WHICH WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FINANCING UNREST ALL OVER THE wort, —Dublin Opinion. Poure Exotsimax (overboard, to man at the rail): A word with you, old bean... HELP!—Pitt Panther. Telephonic Emotions mtemporaries Stop Press Tue printer clamoureth for bits of verse, The editor is dancing in a rage— He wants a little piece to fill the page. A plague on editors who ramp and curse, Like frantic tigers in an iron cag The printer clamoureth for bits of verse, The editor is dancing in a rage. His frenzy’s bad; this stop-gap is far worse, And yet I write not for a paltry wage, (Or ‘any wage at all), O wretched age! ‘The printer clamoureth for bits of verse, ‘The editor is dancing in a rage— He wants a little piece to fill the page. —R. E. S., in The Cambridge Granta. Make a Note of This A youne couple seated in the front row of a Broadway theatre were much pleased with one of the musical numbers played by the orchestra during one of the intermissions. The husband requested the nearest musician, an elderly German flut- ist, to give him the name of the composi- tion, as his wife wished to try it out on her piano. The musician did not know, but later asked the leader. Coming back, all smiles, he said: “So pleased for to be able to oblige the lady—dot is number dree in der green book.” —New York Evening World. Photographer's Luck in Florida “D’ya recognize me in this one?” asked the proud fisherman who was passing around the snapshots on his return from Miami. “No,” replied the skeptic, “but that sailfish looks familiar."—Detroit News. His Professional Standing 1T¥ correspondence: “The sand- 1 in the Elite Drugstore lost job last week for condescending to speak to the registered pharmacist.” —Kansas City Star. Mas. Heppirstox announces that she sissippi from St. Louis in July, What a head- line! “Mother of Two Swims Father of Waters.”—Chicago Daily News. Ey BO Gs “wormer 18 These very “VERY, ery ILL... “so THE DOCTOR AD- “WHERE, THANKS TO VISED HER TO COME OUR CARE, SHE WILL TO OUR MOUSE... GET WELL.” —Le Journal Amusant (Poris). comicbooks.com