Life — March 17, 1927 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“art ovt!™ “, witt Nor!” “Ger ot, 1 TELL you!” “{ WIL NoT! AND AST AM NoT IN THE WABIT OF TAKING ORDERS, I WILL Leave you!” —L’Intransigeant (Paris). Life's Minor Annoyances Or all the pests the world affords I hold the greatest blight The Congressman, too strong for peace, Who stops a cloakroom fight. —St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Uncle Tom's Bungalow Revisep version: “Eliza crossed the river last evening. She used an eight- beat crawl stroke and was paced by a rowboat in which a small boy encouraged her from time to time by singing Mammy songs."—Detroit Nes, Sain the College Youth: “I haven't heard a cent from Father in more than a month.”"—Dartmouth Jack-.o'-Lantern, Sic on the bumper of a motor truck in Jacksonville, Fla: “YES, IT HAD TO BE YOU!"—New York Sun, PH a= “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” The Lost Ball Scene: Near Aberdeen Boy (on links): Are ye lookin’ for a ba’, meester? Gotrtr: Aye, ha’ ye found ain? “Aye, I hae that.” “What make of ba’ is it?” “Ah! Ye say fir-r-st —London Opinion, Marvelous! From the Cleveland Press: “Thieves are believed to be responsible for the theft."—Country Gentleman. Ciicaco Morten: And now, my dear, go in and shoot Father good night. —Virginia Reel. mk : jw “TELL ME, BAMBOULA, HOW LONG DOES AN ALLIGATOR LIVE BEFORE HE DIES OF OLD AcE?’ —Le Monde Colonial (Paris). Try That on Your Piano Curr (in music store): How long d'ja work at the last place? st: From “All Alone” to '—Collier’s. Panic in the Theatre! THE EGYPTIAN PAKIR IS STUNG BY A WASP. —Fliegende Blatter (Munich). Ciarence Buppinoton KeEttanp, who left a Detroit newspaper to become a successful novelist, tells this story on one of his friends down on Long Island near Southampton: “Late one night, this fellow rang the doorbell of a neighbor's house, and the neighbor, donning bathrobe and slippers, went downstairs and admitted him. It was evident to the unaided nose that the caller had been lifting a few. “ ‘Hello,’ said the householder. keeps you out so late? No answer. ‘Have a drink? No answer. ‘Have a smoke?’ No answer. “The belated guest then sat down and stared at his host for an hour, without saying a word, Despairing of ever find- ing out what the reason for the visit might be, the host finally went to sleep in an armchair. He awoke as dawn was breaking, to find his guest still sitting and staring at him. the guest broke his long yy he said, ‘why the hell don’t you go home and let a gentleman go to be: —D. “What . C. News. Me Too! Tue English class was study- ing exposition. The teacher as- signed to Johnny the task of directing a stranger from the railroad station to the City Hall. When Johnny's paper was handed in the teacher found the following: “Sorry, partner, but I'm a stranger round these parts, too.” Indianapolis News. School Days From a letter from a young girl student: “I am sure having some busy time. I am going to Sunday School, dancing school, writ- ing school and school.” —Howard Courant. The Cure ‘ < “Wity, Mac, you've lost your stutter!” “Ay. A've been doin’ a lot o° telephonin’ tac America lately.” —Punch. “se caneretl 4 misster MEAS rN stast beatin!” “yust Like ast steect is Paris.” —Le Pile Mile, comicbooks.com