Life, 1927-03-17 · page 19 of 43
Life — March 17, 1927 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces targeting early 1900s social conventions: **"Thoughts of a Girl Writing a Letter"** mocks the difficulty of letter-writing etiquette—the girl struggles with proper word choices and phrases, wanting to sound original but constrained by social formality. **"How to Sell Manuscripts"** (attributed to Parker Cummings) humorously advises aspiring writers to use absurd tactics: invite editors to golf, beg for money, mutter "mysterious incantations," and lie about credentials. It's satire on publishing's pretensions. **"Simple Enough"** presents gossip dialogue where a Reverend Haffingwell discusses the "Smith twins" eloping with "Brown boys," while the Parson delivers a pious but circular non-answer—satirizing clergy hypocrisy and society's obsession with scandal. The illustrations are period-appropriate pen-and-ink drawings typical of Life's satirical style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life 17 ALL WRAPPED UP IN HIS WORK How to Sell Manuscripts NVITE editors to play golf with you. Enclose extra stamps to show generous spirit. Submit letters of introduction from well-known liter- ary figures, Use extra-quality paper to write on, Place stamps on envelopes on a bias every seventh windy Thursday and mutter favorite mysterious incanta- tions while so doing. Plead earnestly that you need money badly with every manuscript submitted. Explain all manuscripts thoroughly. Cite your excellent record on your high-school or college paper. Write something good. Parke Cummings. Simple Enough THE GOSSIP: Why, Reverend Haffingwell! How did you ever find out that the Smith twins eloped with the Brown boys? Tur Parson: Well, my dear Mrs. Gadds, the young couples came to me and asked to be married—and I just put two and two together! \ AYNE B. WHEELER overlooks the most obvious argument in favor of the Volstead Act—that there must be something good in anything so many people oppose, Thoughts of a Girl Writing a Letter EAVENS what a nuisance it is to have to write letters to people there’s never anything to say ex- cept I am well how are you thank you for something or other gosh I wish I was sure of how to spell some words that are sort of different than the ones everybody uses in letters but I can’t so what's the use I just have to keep on writing the same old line everything is nice or lovely or heavenly or vile or obnox- ious or poison- ous and you'd adore to do this or you'd loathe doing that and the weather has been mar- velous or the weather has been foul and you've met the sweetest people or you've met the most objectionable people and you wish you were home agai you were never going home again gosh I wish I was original I wonder how you spell superfluous I'd like to start in sort of highbrow I'd like to say it would be superfluous to tell you of all the charming times I am having I wonder if there are two m’s in charmming no it doesn’t look right with two m's but gosh what's the use I know I could never manage superfluous so I'll just have to write him the same old line a ys I'll say in haste so he'll think I was too rushed to think of anything to say.... Lloyd Mayer. Trish Poet (stopping outside the wee houseen of one of the little folk): ueLLo, rookie, now’s TRICKS? The Pookie: wei.Lo yourseLY. LL BEWITCH YEZ IN A MINUTE. comicbooks.com